Eye candy of the week

Kudos to Brooke for finally sitting me down and showing me this new clip for next month's premiere of "The Hills". Just like my love for Audrina's love for Justin Bobby, Monday nights at C's cozy AdMo abode will live once again!

How would I rock a pair of dramatic dress trousers at a black-tie event? You're lookin' at my answer right here. Minus the "Brian [Austin Green]" tattoo, of course.
To borrow a term from the ladies over at GFY, this ravishing redhead (Teen Vogue's Accessories Director, Taylor Tomasi Hill) at the Tuileries yesterday creates the ultimate in 'lady cum tramp' scroll-down chic. Holy legs, Batman!

I've always liked men's watches far more than women's, but this one -'The Motif'- from longtime favorite line Nixon, is making me reconsider that preference. So very pretty, no?

We all fawned over Penelope's feather-bedecked Chanel Haute Couture gown on the red carpet, but how many got to see the second dress in which she stepped out for the many Oscar after parties? Penny's always been a favorite of mine, because she's one of the few beauties who can pull off the smolder and the cute with a quick dress change and hair tousle.

Before the unfortunate bang chop. Sorry, but that's all I can think about here. That and how HRL would snap this black and gold banded skirt up in less than a New York minute and then, in all honesty, ask me, "Really, you think it's '80s?"

I just want to see these new ruffled Prada runway pumps in person. Just to touch. Okay, maybe to wear, too, but only to work.

I can finally die happy knowing a benevolent soul and not some horrid socialite earned the honor of wearing the $14,500 Proenza Schouler cocktail dress. You say serving food to the hungry, I say serving Vogue to the fashion hungry. It's all charity in God's eyes.

I get in this same exact 'J' position after crunches and before prison push-ups, but aside from the sultry look and feelin'-for-progress hand placement, the similarities end there. Oh Katie Moss, no matter how old or drugged up you get, you'll always be the most glamorous chick in the coop.

If I had a sugar daddy who had a sugar daddy...

Burnished gold cinched sheath by Proenza Schouler
$14,500, not yet available for purchase

If I had a sugar daddy...

Jewel-tone silk blouse by Proenza Schouler

$545 at ronherman.com

I am *that* good.

I think the purple tint of the tights is just the lighting against an opaque black pair but irregardless, did I call this or did I call this?

Instead of going bare-legged with a simple black or red almond-toed pump, Chloë had to fuss up this already chance-y, already showpiece-y multi-textured, multi-necklined, pouf-sleeved sateen Proenza Schouler dress with those Wicked Witch of the East buckled bondage booties. The two attention-grabbing items in one ensemble takes this look from fashionable to a Fairuza Balk in The Craft Halloween costume.

An improvement over last time, a big one, but still not up to my standards. Not with a body that hot and a bank account that big.

Chloë looking better than usual...I think

I didn't think much of this textured LBD with pouf-sleeves, inlaid plunge v-neck over high scoopneck and empire waist cinch when I first saw it prance down Proenza Schouler's runway this past January, but with the fur collar removed and draped on Chloë Sevigny of all people, it somehow went from eh to incredibly fierce.

I wish I could find a photo of Chloë's full ensemble, and I also wish I had more confidence in her ability to pull off a fantastic heel-to-coiff look, but since I don't on either front, I'm going to have to assume she's wearing some bright purple textured tights and a god awful pair of "high fashion" metal-studded ankle boots.

Baby steps, I suppose, and since she finally wore a nice, flattering dress and had the good sense to allow someone to slap some decent makeup on her face, I'm going to focus on her progress, not speculate on how far she still has to go.

Or, I could just focus on how devilishly handsome those two boys from Proenza Schouler are...