"Have a nice flight, sir."

Forget that my naturally long lashes were painted twice over with Cover Girl 'Marathon' mascara in "very black".

Forget that I was wearing a cropped bomber and fitted -fitted verging on tight- straight-leg jeans, the combination of which unmistakably outlined my waist-to-hips contour.

Forget that the timbre of my voice is consistently described as somewhere between "sweet" and "girlish."

Forget that I had on my feet and dangling off my forearm a pair of patent leather four inchers and a black leather tote, respectively.

In truth, what stunned me most about my being addressed as a "sir" yesterday was not that the screener -a young man who, given his position as the first line of airport security presumably had no serious vision impairments- had in his possession a driver's license that not only informed him of my first name but also included a 2005 photo from when I was in the thick of my 'Nicole Richie long bob' phase and still thought I looked sufficiently unfeminine to warrant a male assignation, but rather my reaction to his mistake.

I honestly didn't care. My feelings weren't hurt. I had no desire to correct him.

In fact, my first reactions upon hearing these five words were to tilt my head ever so slightly, look this boyish twenty-something squarely in his blue eyes, smile, and say, "Thanks, I will."

Check back later today for the Volvo style epiphany that came to me as a result of my interaction with Derek the Dayton Airport security screener.

*to those who identified the 1985 movie from which the above film still was taken, you've earned my utmost respect

Holly's hair - the only redeeming thing about that show

I'm seriously contemplating a change in cut after seeing "Make Me a Super Model" contestant Holly Kiser's edgy, tousled pixie:

Love the profile but not so sure about those femchops...
That sweet little swirl up front is so lovely to look at, but hmm...seems like a lot of product and just so placement might be involved Well, at least I already have one of the four fronts covered

For those of you familiar with short hair and the styling limitations thereof, do you think it's possible to attain this look without giving up asymmetric bangs, or will I need to undergo more drastic scissor surgery?

I'd like to know your opinions before my next trim on Friday, if possible.

k'thanks,
Johanna

*grainy photos courtesy of the pause-button on my Tivo

It must be croppin' season!

After the weightiness of yesterday's post, all I wanted to do last night was a put together a piece on pretty dresses.

I was even going to call it "The pretty dress post" or perhaps something simpler like "Pretty Dresses - yay!" or "These dresses - pretty, no?"

In it, I was going to include a brief, substance-free intro on why owning a pretty dress makes a girl feel pretty and how when a girl feels pretty, even if she's not, she somehow magically becomes pretty (eye roll), and so on and so forth.

But just as I was about to find this pretty lady 11 or 12 pretty friends, I checked my inbox and found no fewer than six enthusiastic e-mails from readers either requesting I write a short-hair post or specifically asking me for my stylist's name* so they, too, could take the pixie plunge.

It seems there's something in the DC air that has women hankerin' for a croppin', and about that I could not be more pleased! I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is nothing more confidence-boosting than catching a glimpse of your hair in the mirror, even on a bad skin/hair/waistline day, and thinking to yourself, "I don't want to change a thing."

And what's even more gratifying than that is when those same words involuntarily come running out of your mouth in fierce Tyra fashion when a smug critic likens you to a Thai ladyboy or Christian from "Project Runway." Until I went super-short last July, I'd never had a cut about which I felt so protective -- not even close.

But now that I do, I'm addicted, my standards have risen, and there will for sure be no going back to letting myself live with ho-hum hair.

Just to be clear, I'm not implying long hair is always ho-hum and short hair is always va-va-voom -not at all, I mean, hello and hello- but I am saying there is a strong tendency for women with longer hair to lazily rely on their length to make their looks look more pulled-together. A fabulous short cut, by virtue of its relative rarity alone, requires much less of a day-to-day time and product investment to make a strong statement.

As with a strapless neckline and short-shorts, however, not everyone is a good candidate for short hair; be sure to rely on your stylist's honest opinion before you opt for the chop.

So anyhoo, for those who asked and also for those who will inevitably tell me I should grow out my "Hungry Like the Wolf" hair, here below are some of my favorite above-the-shoulder lock looks, in order from boldest to longest.

Enjoy!

Swedish Model
(Summer 2007)

Natalie Portman
(Winter 2006)Selma Blair
(Summer 2007)

Elisha Cuthbert**
(Winter 2007/'08)

Audrey Tautou
(Summer 2006)
Agyness Deyn
(Fall 2007)

Bop Model
(Winter 2008)

Katie Holmes 2.0

(Winter 2008)

Katie Holmes 1.0
(Fall 2007)

Paris Hilton
(Winter 2007/'08)

*Karen Doron, PIAF Salon, (202) 783-3334
** your Editrix's favorite (after her own, of course)

Passing the torch

Having rocked the Asian-style bob from birth until I was old enough to say, "Yeeeah, I think I'm gonna try something different this time" to my stylist, I'm more than happy to pass the torch onto...


...the lovely Katie so she can now enjoy the more grown-up version thereof.

Go ahead, people, say she looks 45, say she looks suburban, silly or severe -- none of your barbs will change the fact that I think she looks absolutely divine. Deliciously so.

Not that I'm biased or anything.

To see more pics of Katie and the debut of her new like-Mommy-like-daughter 'do last night at the Bambi Awards in Düsseldorf, click here

p.s. bring on the "heavy leg" jokes -- I'm armed and ready with two pockets full of retorts!

That for which I'm most thankful this Thanksgiving

My ultimate wishlist item - this McQueen funnel-neck mini - is still available in my size. Even when I'm frantically busy, I always remember to visit her at least twice a day at her home on Net-a-Porter.

Never have I found a pair of shoes to which I'm so attached I don't mind wearing them five days in a row. They're tall, they're ladylike, they're complementary to everything in my wardrobe and best of all, they're affordable enough so that I could buy not one but *two* preemptive replacement pairs.

The Mr. Bigs of this world may cause us an inordinate amount of heartache, but ultimately, when you bump into yours on a random Saturday evening in the parking garage just outside Neiman Marcus and it's all still very much there for both of you - palpably so - you know he was worth all 377 plays of "Tears Dry on Their Own."Katie Holmes.

This photo from The Sartorialist. It was she who inspired me to chop mine off.

The Midwest. My besties. While their hair hues may match the SatC girls' to a perfect 'T,' believe me when I say their three-dimensional personalities are loads more compelling. We may only regularly see each other Monday nights in BridalBird's nest, but more often than not, they and their sent-via-e-mail caustic wit are the best part of my every day. C, K, L and L FTW!!111!!1
Doggies...especially that little breakfast burrito in the lower right hand corner.
At the risk of sounding like a bad Academy Award acceptance speech, I'm most thankful this year for all of those who have supported this blog, which just a year ago was barely a zygote of an idea in my long-haired head. Without your supportive readership, I'd probably still be getting eight hours of sleep and maintaining healthy relationships with my friends, family, Monte and maybe even a nice 63 year old, flag-lapel-pin-wearing Republican. And for that, I thank you.

The sidewalk-to-catwalk iMix (Vol. II)

There's something pretty powerful about a fantastic new haircut.

Not only did my new pixie-short locks inspire an impromptu makeup routine change this morning - instead of my longstanding tradition of a mascara double-coat on top and bottom, I opted for an office-appropriate version of this look with my lower lashes left bare but a thin, dark swipe of black liner up top from extra drama - but it also brought about in me an unforeseen desire - no, need - to change the songs to my soundtrack.

Yes, my soundtrack.

For a solid two months now, if you can recall, my 'on the street' playlist has included sexy rock-pop songs like "Baby did a bad thing," "Sharp Dressed Man" and "Downtown"; this morning, however, as I sauntered down M St. in a red and black scribble-printed long-sleeved wrap dress, Glock-19-lapel-pin-adorned khaki swing trench and black round-toed patent leather slingbacks, something got a hold of me and midway through "Panama" led my right index finger to do something it's never done before: create what was literally an 'On-the-Go' iMix.

In the spirit of all things changing as of late, here is my new sidewalk-to-catwalk soundtrack (as with the last one, this set of songs is best enjoyed when at a 3.5-4.5 inch elevation):

"Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol

"Personal Jesus" (Marilyn Manson)

"Sabatoge" by The Beastie Boys

"Barracuda" by Heart

"Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears


And strangely enough...

"Ignition" (remix) by R. Kelly

Oh, and here is photographic evidence of the haircut, sans the usual self-indulgent self-analysis:

My favorite for-Fall silhouette: the funnel-neck

After four failed, so-not-me attempts, I decided to bag the false modesty and instead write exactly what it is I set out to write -- the most serendipitous benefit of leaving behind my shapeless longish hair in favor of the new Posh bob isn't that my overpriced Bumble & Bumble conditioner will now last me an extra two months or that I now have an excuse to head into the salon for a trim every six weeks instead of eight, or even the fact that I no longer have to worry about being mistaken for a Russian prostitute when I wear a form-fitting dress and heels to meet R for drinks at Town & Country or The Round Robin.

Seriously, even with a Dorothy Parker book in tow, a prostitute.

As unequivocally advantageous as saving on hair products, receiving an extra 2.17 head massages and problows a year and no longer having to shoo away shady male out-of-towners has been, without a doubt the best part of lopping off two and a half years worth of growing-it-out-edness was the discovery of how angular, slender, and dare I say, swan-like a neck I happen to have.

And what do I advocate in the case of such a discovery?

Fit, flatter and understatedly flaunt, of course.

But unlike a hot pair of legs, a sculpted pair of shoulders or a luscious pair of buns, the neck is not a body part so easily isolated for showcasing.

Sure, the strapless neckline, the boat neckline, the ballet neckline and the deep-plunge all highlight this region, but only one silhouette, my favorite for the upcoming season coincidentally, hones in on - and only on - the neck.

Defined by FabSugar as, "a type of garment neckline that is wide and high," the funnel-neck, the first version with which I fell in love was this one more than a year ago, can vary in height, width and strictness-of-structure; regardless of how short, tight or slouchy the funnel on your sweater, swing jacket or military-style coat has affixed to it, the effect will always be the same -- the appearance of a slimmer, more delicate, lengthened neck.

If you're like my friends and I and you've already begun to think about investing in cool weather wardrobe components, please take my advice and consider among your wishlist items something of the funnel-necked variety. Unfortunately, because the only stores to put forth large Fall inventories this early in the season (online, anyway) are the upmarket boutiques and department stores, the vast majority of the items below have well beyond anything close to a "Since I don't (yet)" price-point.

But as I always do, I recommend you look here first for inspiration and then head out to your local Zara, H&M, Forever 21, Macy's, Urban Outfitters, favorite vintage haunts and any other more reasonably-priced purveyors you know of to seek out and snap up similar but much less expensive versions.

Viva la funnel!

Cap sleeve funnel-neck cardigan (£35 at topshop.com)

Gold tweed sheath dress by Michael Kors ($1,695 at eluxury.com)*

Funnel-neck blouse by Elijah ($225 at otteny.com)

Funnel-neck dress by BÏ LA LÏ ($375 at net-a-porter.com)
Military style coat by Burberry London ($1,095 at nordstrom.com)*
Funnel-neck trapeze coat by Elie Tahari ($550 at nordstrom.com)
Belted tweed walking coat by DKNY ($298 at nordstrom.com)

Funnel neck mini by Milly ($278 at saks.com)

Funnel-neck swing jacket by Rebecca Taylor ($428 at saks.com)*

Doncianna dress by Diane von Furstenberg ($410 at shopbop.com)

Funnel-neck shift dress by Vince ($235 at shopbop.com)

*your Editrix's top picks

At this rate, I'll be bald by November

A trim.

After impulsively green lighting a seven-inch chop seven weeks ago, I intended to ask at the outset of yesterday afternoon's appointment - my first touch-up since my long-to-short transition - for nothing more than a routine trim. A quarter, maybe half inch. After all, my hair had only just begun to accommodate a behind-the-ear tuck, not to mention allow for a more workout-friendly, less Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai looking half-ponytail.

Anything more than a cleaning up of the ends would be wholly impractical, I decided.

But like last time, I had a lady on the brain and no matter how hard I fought against her, that cute little smile and wispy, longish pixie just wouldn't let me be.

And thank God for that, because I am so very much in love with my new Katie-Holmes-cum-Audrey-Tautou 'do -- a 'do whose channelling powers are already proving helpful in my me-want-me-get inner dialogue:

"It's been nine weeks, and I still can't go five minutes without thinking about those Jean-Michel Cazabat Vita pumps..."

"Think, Johanna, think -- what would Katie do?"

Slipping into vacant-eyed submission...
"What do you mean there was 'life' in my lifeless look? Really? Damn. Okay, onto Plan B."

"Channeling Audrey, channeling Audrey..."

(batting eyelashes)
"Donnez-moi mes chaussures fo**ues, s'il vous plait."

Because I owe all this short-haired magic to him, please offer your most sincere golf claps to my stylist Rodney at the Andre Chreky Salon on the corner of 16th and K. Yes, the one next door to the Burger King. Whether you favor pixie short, a shoulder-length bob or long and glamorous Hollywood hair -- Rodney is your man. Loquacious he's not, but what he lacks in a penchant for small-talk he more than makes up for with pure, efficient skill; he's deft, he's decisive and he will blow your 'effing mind with his perfect blow-out.