22 December 2007

She done grown up so quick!


It was 12 short months ago today that I planted my bum in this very chair, donned these same oversized high school sweats, popped handfuls of these identical salty Dutch licorice bits and came to the decision to pass on "Earn it First" and "It's a Privilege, not a Right" and
anoint my new DC fashion interventionist endeavor, "A Serious Job is No Excuse."

Though I've admittedly strayed more often than not from its original mission, I'm still quite pleased with the uniquely focused but not too focused niche I've carved out for ASJiNE. Not only am I pleased with how acceptant you all have been of my desire to bring celebrity shenanigans into the fold, but I'm additionally jazzed you've allowed me a forum in which I can freely wax poetic (and occasionally not so poetic) about the few loves of my life outside of - or only tangentially related to - the fashion world.

You may not agree with my super-structured, high-neckline obsession, my death-to-flats attitude or my staunch belief that bigger is actually the opposite of beautiful when it comes to backless, strapless, sleeveless or waist-less; you may think I take dog fawning to an unreasonable, unhealthy level; you may want to reach through your screen, shake me and scream, "I subscribe to your blog, not your issues, bitch!" every time I not so subtly hint at how heartbroken I still am.

Contentious views aside, at the very least I hope we can all agree on my early-stated-and-still-true belief that the adoption of the following three principles is critical for any woman at any age of any size in any setting:

1. ALWAYS dress to flatter your figure - unless you have a body like JenConn's that can wear anything well, you must approach every item of clothing with complete honesty and the willingness to accept the fact that yes, your calves are too big for ankle booties, yes your bottom-half is too pear-shaped for purple skinnies, or no, your back is not sufficiently in-shape to pull off a plunge that deep. Wearing something just because you like it is fine for a five year old but not for a grown woman.

2. Remember your audience when choosing that day's ensemble. Are you giving a briefing in your office? What about in an office that conducts itself more formally than yours? Are you lounging at home? Is there a possibility that your significant other's much more senior colleague might drop by to pick up a document? Are you attending a dinner party with mostly younger people? Mostly older people? Being 100% aware of the environment into which you will be entering is key in making a good first - and lasting - impression.

3. Wear what makes you feel most confident, not most comfortable. Unless your day is done and you're snuggled up tightly between your pup/boyfriend/husband and the fat arm of your cushy couch, feeling comfortable should never trump feeling confident. Sure, there is the sexy white t-shirt that fits your bits just right and the university-emblazoned booty shorts that make your ass look as high-and-tight as a new Marine's buzzcut, but obvious exceptions aside, there are very few wardrobe components that fall under both the "comfiest thing in my closet" and the "damn, I feel powerful" categories. Giving into one or the other exclusively will change your life -- but only the latter will do so for the better. Anyone who tells you differently is either in denial or Jeanne Bice.

I'm not sure how regularly I'll be posting in the next few days given the drop-dead deliciousness of my six-month old niece's presence in our thankfully-now-at-76-degrees home, but I think you know me well enough that if you check back once a day, you'll probably find a little something from me under the tree.

To B, C, E, K, L, L, M, R, T and the rest of the devoted ASJiNE readers who have helped make 2007 the best year of my life, please strap on your Strawberry Shortcake party hats and join me in blowing out my baby blog's first candle.

love,
J

32 comments:

bff in chicago said...

holy frijoles! congrats!

Anonymous said...

I've never been so devoted to a blog before. I love everything about ASJiNE, even your controversial beliefs. Keep it up and let us know when you get that fancy camera!

london girl said...

quite an accomplishment!

cheers,
s

Joanna Goddard said...

great tips! have a very happy holiday;)

m street admirer said...

if only all women saw eye to eye with you on these points.

have a merry christmas and a safe flight back to us here in the district.

laura said...

Champagne wishes,

Laura

Izumi said...

I'm addicted to your blog. Can't wait to see what's in store for 2008!

Kelly and Kelly said...

congrats on a year!

and what is salty licorice?

Anonymous said...

you've put more effort into this blog in 2007 than most people put into their 9-6 jobs. you should be extremely proud. can't wait to grow another year with you.

Johanna said...

thank you all for your good wishes. this milestone really did sneak up on me!

kelly & kelly -- to learn more about my favorite treat, check this out: http://www.dutchtreats.co.uk/

p.s. like Marmite (which I eat by the spoonful), salty licorice is one of those things you usually had to grow up with to fully appreciate/like it.

1blueshi1 said...

I LOVE your blog (and your shoes, as previously discussed). Thanks for responding to my earlier question about the heavenly and haloed Max Studio mary janes, they've been added to my last minute wish list!
Can't wait to hear what you have to say about absolutely anything, be it Monte, celeb style, whatever it is you care to dish out, I'll be right there with my bowl and some Dickensian orphan pleading piteously, "Please, Johanna, may I have some more?"
Also, I am seriously considering getting your haircut. Isn't imitation the sincerest form of flattery? I believe that D.C. and Adger, Alabama (aka Wide Place In The Road) are far enough apart for this to work!
Have a lovely, wonderful, family-and-Monte-filled holiday.

severedgrrl said...

Congrats and enjoy your holiday! I love your blog!

dara said...

I can't imagine my work day without your bitchy but true commentary like "bigger is actually *the opposite* of beautiful..."

you make me laugh but more important you've helped make me a better dressed and more confident woman.

Dave said...

Woo woo. Wait. I'm not C, E, K, L, L, M, R, T.

Johanna said...

Dave,

Aw shoot, that was rude of me, wasn't it? Well, since we haven't actually met in person, I felt it inappropriate to include you the list of people who have either...

a) had to Kleenex away tears during one of my Mr. Big related sob fits

b) had to hide their eyerolls as I bitched about how I was unable to work out two days in a row

c) had to warn their fathers I might seem "overly friendly"

d) had to fill my place in a dinner reservation at the last minute because I blew all my cash on another dress I didn't really need

e) all of the above

you understand, yes?

best,
J

Oh...dear me said...

Wow Joanna, congrats! I discovered your blog couple of months ago, and can't imagine life without it!
And ofcourse your shoes, inspiration!
My Kardashian a.. won't let me wear your dresses, but I can sport the shoes, thanks for ideas!
Have great holidays, and same to Monte, he is with you?no?

olivia said...

anon 6:11 has it exactly right. yeah, yeah so a lot of people blog for a full year. YOU, m'dear, blogged *like a maniac* for a year. you've earned at least one day away from the computer, the gym, the heartache and the asshole commenters.

enjoy it!

Brooke said...

I remember the day you said you were starting a blog and I was like "FINALLY!!! I can't wait!!!" So proud of your accomplishments, I know this is just the beginning! I am eagerly anticipating the photographs with your new snazzarazz camera.

i think you're brilliant said...

your parents must've seen the precociousness that was to come in those huge eyes of yours...what a mischevious little thing you were!

congratulations on the anniversary, birthday or whatever it is you want to call it. you make me look like a slacker in pretty much every part of my life (other than motherhood ;), and yet I can't get enough of you.

have a crazy fun holiday at home!

nyc admirer said...

you're the best there is in so many ways. you deserve this and all the "sugar daddy" items on here.

my best to you and your family...

Anonymous said...

is that RM skirt the same one Katie was wearing yesterday? she looked so gorgeous.

http://dlisted.com/node/20362

K said...

Congratulations, my darling! Have the merriest and warmest of Christamases, and may you find everything you want under the tree!

Kelly and Kelly said...

thanks!!

Dave said...

Comprehend, yes. Understand, no. You're a woman after all. I'm not supposed to understand. Men can't understand why you'd blow all your money on a dress you'd never need. My imagination is interpreting "overly friendly."

Merry Christmas, J. My life is a little richer for reading your blog. And trying to understand.

brown rowergirl said...

if I were there with you in person, I would give you the three-kiss Eurotrash special -- congratulations, dahhhhling!

holy cold in the midwest, right? I can only take a few days of this...

merry christmas,
B

brown bride to be said...

wow, I'm impressed! keep up the great work. I know it'll pay off in spades and by that I mean Louboutins ;-)

lidia said...

you've really done a great job this year. I've been going through your archives for about two weeks, and I'm only a little over halfway through. Impressive.

merry xmas to you and Monte!!!

Candid Cool said...

Jeanne Bice!!! hilarious!

happy holidays & happy new year!

west coast devotee said...

congratulations, babe. now go eat some birthday cake and get that skinny ass drunk!

Anonymous No More said...

Happy Blogiversary Jo!

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

X

cali finale said...

congrats! congrats! congrats!

nycmidtown lady said...

Congratulations!! Your blog has become a staple in my work day....keep up the fabulous writing and the fabulous outfits!