10 December 2007

Hurry down my chimney tonight (or whenever)

Dear Santa,

I wish I could claim with a hairpin's worth of honesty that I've been "good" this year, but unless your operational definition of that word has something to do with enraging strangers, polarizing acquaintances, alienating friends, embarrassing family members, indulging in material items at the expense of my own health and finding (extreme) gratification in the misfortune of others, I'm not so sure I deserve much in the way of pretty presents this holiday season.

But just in case you happened to only be paying attention during my few moments of altruism instead of my regular deluge of evil, I've put together for your shopping convenience a collection of my favoritest favorites in 15 categories from the nearly 375 items featured in my 'If I had a sugar daddy'/'If I had a sugar daddy who had a sugar daddy' posts over the past year.

If you can only choose just one, go with the Proenza Schouler LBD, if two, the LBD and the McQueen pumps. If three, well...if you're gonna give me three, I don't see why you don't just go ahead and swing for all 15?

(slight head tilt, double eyelash bat, this expression)

I mean, you are Santa, aren't you?

Oh, and as one last favor, I'd also really love to have this and maybe a few of these for His Lordship. As was the case last year, you'll receive his full list, professionally calligraphed, enumerated in descending order according to price and thematically color-coded in shades of purple, on his half birthday, December 12th.

tall/skim/extra hot/no-whip gingerbread latte wishes,

p.s. if you could also open a Little Caesar's within a block of my apartment and find a way to de-carb and de-calorie Crazy Bread, that'd be super great, too

And now, for 2007's best Sugar Daddy offerings...

Work Dress
Tweed coatdress by Burberry Prorsum
($2,500, featured 12 October 2007)
Party dress
Horse-print mini by Juliana Jabour
($1,077, featured 25 September 2007)
Evening Gown
Lantern-neck silk halter gown by Malandrino Couture
(price upon request, featured 20 April 2007)
Pieced dress by Proenza Schouler
($2,250, featured 19 January 2007)
Metallic box clutch by Bottega Veneta
($2,250, feature 16 April 2007)
London blue topaz ring by Dominique Cohen
($2,000, featured 7 June 2007)
Ruched collar swing jacket by Mint
($428, featured 23 August 2007)
Cashmere-blend walking coat by Celine
($2,300, featured 9 August 2007)
3/4-sleeve puff sweater by Twig
($220, featured 2 November 2007)
Ruffle-sleeve blouse by Jean Paul Gaultier
($735, featured 11 April 2007)
'Domini' skinny trousers by Theory
($305, featured 15 October 2007)
Hanging skirt by Vivienne Westwood Anglomania
($409, featured 9 October 2007)
Cocktail triangle bra and thong by La Perla
($363, featured 14 March 2007)
Shoe (closed-toed)
Brancusi pump by Alexander McQueen
(£425, featured 23 November 2007) Shoe (open-toed)
Moonbow peep-toe pumps by Christian Louboutin
($650, featured 24 February 2007)


Anonymous said...

it's the audacity that has got me doubled over! Guile and artfulness, beguiling artlessness. One or the other, such a list is a gift in itself.

shaking my head said...

your true colors shine through in this post. this list is abhorrently indulgent. you and whoever buys it all for you (I truly believe you will find him one day) deserve each other.

Lindsay said...

A girl can dream, right?

brown rowergirl said...

the Malandrino gown and Bottega Veneta clutch are a dream, indeed. Love the list, even though I know it's not *really* a list but a cute way of looking back on the year.

Damn, so people really do live their life literally, don't they?

Anonymous said...

WOW those McQueen shows are to die for! Can some sugar daddy please, please buy Jo them so we can see them in real life??

Anonymous said...


i think you're brilliant said...

what I love about you is that even though I know you'd love all these things, I also know that you'd buy that doggie GPS before you'd buy any of the clothing.

dc lawyer said...

those mcqueens with that proenza would make quite possibly cause a riot at a DC cocktail party.

not that that's your desire, though, right?

Anonymous said...

linking us back to old posts is getting really old. if we wanted to read your archives, we'd read your archives.

san fran fan said...

J, be honest, you're much more evil in real life than those "deluge of evil" posts insinuate ;-)

in all seriousness, you're one of only two people whose calls I *always* pick up, because I know a good story and a shocking "Are you f**king kidding me?" is coming. keep it up, crazy girl!

merry xmas to you and the little one,

bff in chicago said...

at first, I thought, "how is the stylish pregnant woman post 'altruistic'?" and then I realized, duh, it's because you saw a pregnant woman and for once didn't solely think about stretch marks, opportunities squandered, marital deterioration, etc.

and for you, that is certainly altruistic.

cheers, babe.

p.s. the Mcqueen pumps and Gaultier blouse...oh dearie my!

Johanna said...


Sorry, I'm a child of the "Tell Me You Love Me" generation. Idealism left the building after the episode when the middle-aged man turned down his wife to pleasure himself while she was in the shower.

Yeeeah, Merry Christmas!

new fan said...

I don't know how others feel, but I really enjoy when you link back to older posts. I'm a fairly new reader, so they're all new to me!

west coast devotee said...

is it bad of me that when I first read the title of this post I assumed it would be a sexually-laced ode to old men handing out presents to much younger women?

"Hurry down my chimney," J? Come on - too easy.

Anonymous said...

Do you know anything about Angeline Jolie's new store opening in DC?

Anonymous said...

how many black dresses with cool necklines do you own, girl???


K said...

Nice Flickr stalking, anon.

Heebiest of jeebies...

Thanks for the Twig sweater reminder. I tried to buy it a while back and never found the right size/color/price. Just did a quick search and found it on sale in cream for $150, free shipping, and googled up a 15% code also. Basic Boutique, y'all.

dc stylist said...

whoever the "stalker" was who found your pic, I do thank them...always nice to see pictures of the woman we're all a bit too obsessed with.

dc stylist said...

forgot to mention how in love I am with the Celine coat. She is simple, elegant perfection.

etcetera said...

"heebiest of jeebies." hilarious.

j, if you keep all this "i'm evil" crap up, i'm going to have to tell everyone what a warm and generous person you are. and i KNOW you dont want that.


happily married said...

Johanna, stop watching that show NOW. It's accurate for some people but not all, and I hate to see such a young beautiful girl so jaded.

Christine said...

...aaaand now I'm craving Crazy Bread.

Johanna said...


I think it goes without saying that like the 'If I had...'/'Since I don't...' features, this post was an exercise in recapping the year in wishlist favorites, not so much creating a list of the items I want or expect under the tree this year.

But can you imagine finding all these under the tree this year? I think I'd go into a happy coma with the Brancusi pumps alone.

Anyhoo, the reason why I'm starting the 2007 lookback so soon is because the next three weeks are going to be very busy (hee hee, I actually wrote "busty" and had to delete the "t") for me with holiday parties, business travel and heading home to Michigan.

I'll write what I can when I can, but I'm warning you now there will be a noticeable slowdown in new material and more of these superlative "best of" lists.

Tomorrow, expect my favorite celeb looks of 2007, along with a post on my fashionable friends' mini wishlists.

das ist alles.


Anonymous said...

etcetera, I'll believe "warm and generous" when I see it. you really can't be serious, can you?

Candid Cool said...

id root for the malandrino dress. stunning

Anonymous said...

lindsay, your site looks oddly familiar. where have I seen those images, ideas, etc, before?


Anonymous said...

holy cow! it's not even subtle! linds, hon, if you're going to comment here, you should know people will click over to your site and see what you're doing. at the very least give credit.

a link in the sidebar doesn't count.

Johanna said...

okay, okay, kids, pipe down and play nice.


Lindsay said...

Since I started reading Johanna’s blog about 7 months ago, it has definitely influenced my tastes and maybe that’s why you think that my blog is similar. I do like a lot of the stuff that she finds – and so do most of you – you seem to go out and buy the stuff she recommends. Just because I can’t really afford some items so I post pictures of them (to show my friends) doesn’t mean that I’m “stealing” or whatever you are trying to imply. I do link to Johanna’s blog in several of my posts.

Lastly, I think that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and if Johanna has a problem with my blog then she should let me know.

Anonymous said...

lindsay i give you credit for addressing the negativity on here -- good for you. i saw that you linked to her blog quite a few times. just try to keep it original.

etcetera said...

anon 12:23.

dead serious. j is like a roasty toasty warm slice of apple pie kind of friend. with a mug of premium hot cocoa on the side.

but i'll have to leave it at that b/c i dont want to ruin her ruthless image. ;)

Johanna's ruthless image said...

thank you, etcetera.

16th streeter said...

I usually think Louboutins are too severe (maybe I'm just thinking about the pointy ones and those studded boots MKOlsen wore), but these are absolutely gorgeous. If I only had an extra few hundred bucks laying around...

brown rowergirl said...

I think you're going to have to deal with a lot of girls copying your "tone". the best thing to do is just to ignore it and keep doing it BETTER than the rest.

cali finale said...

Oh my, the La Perla set...so delicate and pretty.

And the Juliana Jabour dress would frame your hair/face so nicely. Maybe it'll go on sale soon :-(

watching from afar said...

I can picture you in all of them. You'll get there one day. Just promise to sign my copy of the book whenever it comes out.

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