16 May 2007

Please go away. Please.

Just when I thought I'd honed in on the most annoying woman in all of show business, Avril Lavigne decided to crawl out from under the dumpster by TRL studios where she's been "taking a break" and prove me wrong by giving Blender Magazine the most self-indulgent interview of the decade and posing 8th-grade-boy-in-the-midst-of-a-transgender-revelation style on its June cover. In the much-too-lengthy article devoted to her new album - the name of which I'm not even going to bother to look up - Avril not only declares herself "hot" on four separate occasions but also assigns herself a whole host of other misguided compliments such as "talented," "hard-core" and most laugh-out-loud given her inane, "motherfu**ker"-riddled answers to the most basic questions, "articulate."

I'm not sure why I find some women with this level of self-confidence to be smokin' hot (Dita, Angelina, Rachel McAdams' character in Mean Girls, etc.) while others like Avril, Cameron and Beyoncé drive me to seriously reconsider my curiosity with the um, female form. My biggest question upon seeing this make-my-eyes-bleed pictorial was, "Who wants to see this? Exactly which audience is Blender targeting here?" Universally accepted sex symbols like Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom certainly don't toot my horn, but at least I can look at them and understand why and from where their fanbases might be drawn. With this chick, however, especially in the last picture where for the first time in recent memory I am so NOT digging the topless-and-fishnets look, I'm drawing a complete blank.

For more pictures of Avril Lavigne looking like a younger, less attractive Alexis Arquette, see below:


i think you're brilliant said...

she IS annoying. never got why she was so popular. her voice is okay, I guess, but she can't keep her mouth shut about herself or anyone else. seeing her half-naked is anti-hot.

sarahsouth said...

i take it you won't be "saying it out loud" to avril today

Johanna said...

that's correct, sarahsouth, that's correct.

have you decided on your third race, by the way? you should come up here and do the MCM in late October!

a fan said...

I'd rather see Paris Hilton naked than Avril Lavigne. She looks pre-pubescent, like the kind of girl you'd find smoking in the bathroom in 6th grade. It was hot back then but not anymore.