Just 'cause you like it duhn't mean you should wear it

*analytic breakdown of what cuts these women should have worn to better flatter their figures coming later today...

Oh, the neckline!

Unimpressed by the all-Armani clad women - a group that included style mavens Cate, Penelope, Ziyi, Katie and her majesty, Ms. Mirren - at the designer's eponymous pre-Oscar party last night, I took what I thought would be more than a few steps down on the fashion-ladder to peruse the womanly wares at the National Hispanic Media Coalition awards.

Yeah, I'd never heard of them, either.

But instead of the gaudy, pageanty, Miami-esque halter gowns I expected to quickly click through, I found "Ugly Betty" star America Ferrera in this beautiful chiffon LBD with geometric plunge neckline and delicately constructed flutter-tiered skirt.

To flatter her fuller figure, America smartly chose a muted color, a wispy fabric draped in layers with thickness-minimizing gathering at the waist, and a dramatic neckline that draws all attention upward to frame her two best assets: her face and décolletage.

Her simple black suede Prada peeptoe D'Orsays were an ideal choice to temper the busy layering of the hemline.

Jennifer Hudson, take note.

How do I put this delicately?

It's not that I dislike the media sweetheart of the moment, Jennifer Hudson. In fact, I'm pleased as pudding someone finally woke us up to see Beyoncé as the overrated, one-maybe-two trick tranny-looking pony that she is.

That being said, Effie really should take a harder look in the mirror before showing up at events where she knows women with better figures - and photographers - will be in attendance.

Had she done that before this Giant Magazine party in her honor, I think she would have come to the same conclusion we all did when we giggled our bitchy selves silly at similar offenders at Senior Prom:

Even with the support of Spanx, satin is just not a big girl fabric.

Evidence below: