06 November 2007

Just 'cause you like it duhn't mean you should wear it


*analytic breakdown of what cuts these women should have worn to better flatter their figures coming later today...

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've never understood why Beyonce ends up on "best dressed" lists. She always looks like a thick mess to me.

brown bride to be said...

Oh Jennifer...

ay said...

Isn't the presence of camel toe a huge indication to change your outfit? Or at least wear a longer top? C'mon, Tyra!

bff in chicago said...

Beyonce looks 100% pregnant in that picture. When is she going to realize that she does NOT have the legs for a mini dress??

dc girl said...

What is Tyra wearing??? Are those tights or reeeeally tight leggings? Looks painful.

samantha said...

Is this a post focused on "larger" women - above size 6? If so, awesome! As a size 8 I am looking forward to your advice on how to dress a more "hippy" frame.

Johanna said...

Samantha-

This post and its follow-up aren't necessarily geared toward larger women, though Beyonce, Jennifer and Tyra *do* fall into that category. It's more about recognizing what goods you got and dressing to flatter them, whether you're a size 4 with broad shoulders, a size 8 with a big bottom or a size 14 with a thick mid-section.

I probably won't be able to post part deux until later tonight, unfortunately, so sit tight!

best,
J

samantha said...

just to avoid a possible firestorm of angry commenters - i do not mean that size 8 is large by any means. I just meant larger than the typical celebrity size of 0-2-4.

beyonce fan said...

I can't believe you're calling Beyonce a "larger" woman. She has a flat stomach and is totally in shape. Maybe you could take a page out of her book instead of starving yourself to be so bony.

Teek said...

Most of these are so easy:

- pants
- no saddle bags
- Anything that doesn't give you a ruffled uniboob
- anything that isn't from the 1977 JC Penny's catalog (even though I don't think she looks pregnant)
- Something a little less Homeless Ice Princess
-Anything that isn't a funeral sack cloth. That is so depressing.


And Beyonce is, in fact, larger than J Conn or Kristen Bell. Not "Large" in a ephimistic "giant fat cow" way, larger in a "one of these objects is larger than the others" physics 101 way.

Johanna said...

Teek-

My issue with Jennifer Hudson has nothing to do with her blouse, ugly though it is. No, my problem is that she has a sizeable stomach and chose to wear a high-waisted skirt. In my book, that's a big no-no.

The rest of your observations, though, are spot-on.

best,
J

Maxie said...

Beyonce Fan-

Larger does not mean fat. I think the point is that even though her body is great...you wouldn't be able to tell from this outfit.

brown rowergirl said...

How does Mandy Moore go so quickly from cute to frumpy? It's so hit or miss with her. Jamie Lynn's skirt is a joke.

Teek said...

I could be wrong, but I think Ms Hudson has a fairly proportional hourglass figure, but is too short in the torso to successfully wear a high waisted skirt. The problem isn't her waist measurements, it's that there is no space between her breasts and the belt. I think her lower half looks pretty good. The skirt's giving her the uniboob problem, the shirt's just adding insult to injury by drawing attention to the fact.

I just can't get over the fact that Tyra left the house wearing that. she looks literally half dressed.

Johanna said...

Teek-

This could be a matter of personal taste, but I think in order to wear high-waisted *anything* one needs a fairly flat stomach or else one runs into sausage-encasing issues. Having the right proportions is also very important, but to be honest, what I find most unflattering here is that she's drawing unnecessary attention to her paunch.

but that's just me...

dc lawyer said...

It's gross to see a woman's chest and stomach pushed out to the same point. Thin waist or not, if you don't have a smooth line from your wide belt to your thighs, the highwaisted look is not for you.

Anonymous said...

I don't really see a gut on JHud.

Johanna said...

I used the term "paunch," not gut. And I look at enough pictures of her to know she does in fact have one. Not a HUGE paunch but a paunch nonetheless.

brittany said...

anyone who says jhud doesn't have a slight paunch is in denial. is she beautiful? yes. is she talented? yes. is she healthier looking than jennifer connelly? i think so. none of that changes the fact that she does have a little belly on her!

Anonymous said...

just saw you walking down 18th st with your headphones on (or I would've said hi). Killer boots, lady! where are they from?

london girl said...

When did Teek decide to take over your role as advice giver? I smell a poacher...

Teek said...

Just my opinion - wondered if Jo agreed with me. No intention of upstaging Jo on her own blog. One hopes her readers are here for wittier commentary than the obvious "Tyra needs pants".

thank you teek! said...

Really appreciate the reference to 1977 JC Penney's catalog-- classic fashion (and Johanna, if you haven't seen this blog/forward yet, you'll probably have a heart attack when you do).

laura said...

If anyone ever needs a two-word summary of Tyra Banks from about 2004 to the present, feel free to borrow mine:

"She crazy."