Point. Game. Set. Match.

Thank you, Ms. Patricia Field.

Thank you for having Carrie wear "the naked dress" for her first official date with Mr. Big.

Thank you for your decision to have Charlotte don that pink strapless knee-length shift and Jackie-O sunglasses to Brady's first birthday party.

Thank you for Samantha's fleet of plunge-front, backless, come-and-get-me evening attire.

And finally, because I can't recall anything about Miranda's wardrobe that would elicit an-out-of-my-way expression of gratitude, I want to thank you for wearing this dress to the Britania Ball - an annual benefit to raise money for the New York City Opera aboard the ritzy Queen Mary 2 - in New York City last week.

Why, you ask?

By wearing for a second time in three months this too-tight, too-short, pink and black, looks-Missoni-but-I-hope-it's-not tube-dress with extended carpet-tassel skirt and a pair of whip-me-good dominatrix stilettos to a formal fundraiser, the famed "Sex and the City" costume designer proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was right not only to say implicit rules on age-appropriate and venue-appropriate dress exist but that these are rules to which we should cling long, hard and unwaveringly.

Look again -- unwaveringly.

Admittedly, this is an extreme example in every facet, including age, dress, event and expectation (I think it's only fair to hold a woman who's won multiple Emmys for her fashion sense to a higher standard), but sometimes it takes stretching the liberal "do-what-you-want-whenever-you-want" mantra to the very edge of exaggeration to get those last stragglers on-board the reason train.

And because I don't think it'd be very nice to leave you all on a negative note, not on a sunny Friday while I'm working from home in my jammies and you fools are stuck in twin-sets in cheap office chairs, here's an example of a woman right about Pat's age who's gotten the growing-old-gracefully groove down just right. Again.

Helen Mirren on the red carpet at last week's Cannes Film Festival

You SO wish, Biel.

This fine piece of British badunkadunk doesn't belong to Sienna Miller or Keira Knightley.

And good guess, but no, it's not the backside of Billy Zane's insanely hot girlfriend, "actress" Kelly Brook, either.

Believe it or not, but this bah'um - born to Ilyena Vasilievna Mironov - has won an Oscar, two Golden Globes in a single year (three total), and perhaps most impressive of all, has been around for six decades and change.

That's right, this sweet behind (and those fierce black toenails) belongs to none other than 62 year old Dame Helen Mirren.

Until I discovered Ms. Mirren this past year, I blindly believed the line I heard other parents feeding their defeated children when I outperformed them year after year in the Grammar Bees, the Student Government elections, and the from-home-plate-to-second-base throwdowns:

"Nobody wins everything, honey, somewhere along the line, she's going to lose, too."

Now, I suppose that has been true in my case (there was that one time...), but certainly not in Helen's. Not when it comes to professional success or hotness longevity, anyway. To jog your memory, this is the woman whose rack, without the benefaction of surgery, still looks unfathomably perky and full as an ingenue's half her age.

A fabulous ass, a tremendous chest, a happy marriage of 21 years and that elegant accent?

Now I know exactly how the other kids felt.