So anyway, it's cold today. Like, really cold. So cold, in fact, I'm considering taking a cab the four and half blocks that presently stand between my noodlepuff and me.
Instead of the fresh mix of citrus and oriental vanilla I assumed would greet me outside my front door this morning, the city somehow smelled like China, which contrary to what those of you who haven't been there might think, doesn't waft of spices and intrigue but rather a mix among another person's toe-jam, a construction site porta-potty and the stink of half-assed Communism.
I didn't see a stitch of seersucker or Lily P., either, and though I listened as hard as I could, I didn't hear a single note of "Jolly Holiday" or "A Spoonful of Sugar" the entire day.
To top it off, I just looked down and realized I'm wearing flowers on my skirt. Black and white and geometric, not Laura Ashley, but still, flowers.
Further taking away from the optimism I prematurely assigned myself this morning was the fact that for the first time in recent memory, I didn't see one original fashion 'eff-up during the entire six minutes I vacated the office to fetch the Diet Red Bull I needed to help reinstate my zen after a tiresome phone call in which all the familiar cut-from-therapy phrases were once again pasted into my pearl-studded ear.
To stay true to my concept, I suppose I could tell you I saw a woman carrying a wicker tote, wearing lavender faux-UGGs, saggy-bottom tapered jeans, and a white blouse so sheer I could clearly read "38A" on the tag of her dark beige wide-strapped Maidenform bra, but when I started this blog back in December, I promised both myself and others I would never profile anyone in my office building.
Hopefully the chemical reaction between the $2.69
caffeine-release and my
third favorite Rachael Yamagata song on repeat will somehow make for a more fruitful scouting session on my walk home.
As it is with everything, all of this would be so much easier if I had his - the proverbial
his - flush bank account to shop away the pain
stay-at-Mom style.
9. She loves dogs, America and evening sandals all in the same breath
8. She brings out a healthy dose of humility in every woman
7. She turned down ScarJo's breakout role
6. She has a degree (I said I was an education-ist)
5. She left Jude Law's cheating ass in Closer
4. This movie. Her character. That airport ending.
2. This gunmetal plunge gown by Lanvin (Academy Awards, 2005)
1. She spits dirtier rhyme than Bubba Sparxx
