A last-minute decision

Unfortunately for you and me both, at the last minute I've been called out of town for work-related reasons from today until Friday to a place that is ASJiNE inaccessible indoors and 25 degrees colder outdoors.

Yeah, I'm pretty over the moon about it, too.

Of all the pictures I could leave you with until I return on Friday afternoon, I wanted to give you something pretty to look at, something somewhat fashion-related and of course, something Monte-focused. I think you'll agree the one I chose of the Baron von Bobbysocks and his trusty pal Burt (obscured by my heavy legs) investigating the new Chanel collection at Saks this past Saturday fits the bill quite nicely.

Before any of you go crazy with your rant-tastic "how could you bring your dogs into Saks?!" attitudes, please to note that the floor manager of the designer section approached Hot Redhead Lawyer and me on his own accord and effusively thanked us for having done so, calling the practice "so French" and therefore, not just perfectly acceptable but correct.

"I do say, Burtie, that one-shouldered dress is okay - a bit Kate Moss for Topshop for me - but compared with the sable-sleeved Prada dress your Mum just bought, it's just so utterly pedestri...oh, oh, come now, little one, I do believe I smell on-sale Gaultier thattaway!"

p.s. before the rumors start spreading, yes, there was a "situation" earlier in the day on Saturday, and yes, it did involve this position in this store. I would like to thank the proximate shoppers who politely looked in the opposite direction during the actual "release," the nice man from the espresso kiosk who so graciously threw away the Border's coupon with which I tidied up the accident, and oh yes, HRL for informing everyone from a small child in the shoe department to a Humane Society volunteer distributing adopt-a-pet flyers to an elevator full of chatty tourists that my dog has a penchant for taking dumps in upscale department stores.

p.p.s. if you too have been feeling a little heart-achy around the holidays, please check out the iMix I put together to make those consciously melodramatic "I wonder what ____ is doing right now..." gazes out the airplane window just a little bit more consciously dramatic:

1. "I'll be over you" (Toto)*
2. "Again" (Lenny Kravitz)
3. "Almost lover" (A Fine Frenzy)
4. "The tracks of my tears" (Smokey Robinson & the Miracles)
5. "All my life" (Linda Ronstadt)
6. "No names" (Kate Rusby)
7. "No one" (Alicia Keyes)
8. "Someone said goodbye" (Enya)
9. "I'm not in love" (10cc)
10. "The search is over" (Survivor)
11. "Ballad of a bitter end" (The Poems)
12. "As long as I live" (Anita O'Day)
13. "How lucky we are" (Meiko)
14. "It ain't over 'til it's over" (Lenny Kravitz)
15. "Answer" (Sarah McLachlan)
16. "If we never meet again" (Louis Armstrong)

*'Anonymous No More' -- I told you I'd remember to download it!

My very first fête!

I pinky-swear promise this blog won't turn into a me-me-me fashion show, but since L used a proper camera to take proper photos before and while we were at the Corcoran Museum's Fall Fête on Saturday night, I thought I'd give your weary eyes a break from the heavily pixelated images I usually post and offer you a rare glimpse into the world of what my friends and I look like in full-on focus.

Other than one major eyesore (see final picture) and the curious popularity of blah weekday hair, blah workday pumps and the will-they-never-learn? presence of untoned shoulders and backs in strapless necklines, I had no major complaints about the fashion at this black-tie affair. Sure, there was the unfortunate coincidence that every other woman decided to wear this dress - at last count, L and I identified five of them - but overall, my friends and I agreed most women there fell somewhere between 5-7 out of 10.

We're not yet perfect, but I'm working on it -- remedying the situation one back-slit up to v-town at a time.

Enjoy.

Pre-party at L's condo, the glazed look a result of being in a 'Blackout' trance and my steadfast commitment to never cracking a smile while wearing a designer dress. A heavily discounted designer dress, mind you.

I promise, Burtie, I promise not to tell Monte or your mother about us. We'll keep it on the Atlantic Starr tip, okay? Shhhh...just look at me and "know," you spicy thing. I'm not a label hound by any stretch of the imagination (hush, Mom), but because some of you might ask where my girls' fabu dresses are from, the one on the left (on A) is Miu Miu and the one on the right (on L) is Lanvin. I had just told L earlier that evening how I never met a necklace I liked, but as soon as I set my eyes on A's luxe, crystal-globed beauty, I'm considering giving them a formal chance.
Here L and I are doing our best to rock A's make-your-arms-look-as-thin-as-possible stance. She was militant about pinning that arm back. I sh*t you not, I came thisclose to pulling a muscle, and I'm pretty sure those thumbprint-shaped bruises on my biceps are from her hands-on instruction giving. If not, then...um, next picture.
The final A/J/L permutation. I was peer-pressured into that half-smile, by the way. So not may-jah.Perhaps my favorite picture ever. Here, L caught me snapping a photo of the world's evening's worst footwear: white, patent-leather pooties. Some might say the sick feeling I had in my stomach all day yesterday had something to do with my Fun-Size Butterfinger lunch and eight flutes of Champagne dinner the night before, but I vehemently believe the pain was patent-leather-pootie induced.

'Til Tuesday

Remember that band? Remember how hot and dangerous Aimee's spiky femullet was? I loved me some "Voices Carry" back in the day.

But anyway, I wanted to let you all know I probably won't be posting on Monday, so....

Have a great long weekend, and if you can, for my Mom (who reads these comments every day), try to think of me not as a "harpie" and less as "an awful human being" and more as someone who loves puppies and has no qualms about having one - meet Burtie Spice, he's adorable and smells like a Molton Brown boutique - flush up against her favorite ivory vintage mini.

A woman of the people, if you will.