03 August 2007

At this rate, I'll be bald by November

A trim.

After impulsively green lighting a seven-inch chop seven weeks ago, I intended to ask at the outset of yesterday afternoon's appointment - my first touch-up since my long-to-short transition - for nothing more than a routine trim. A quarter, maybe half inch. After all, my hair had only just begun to accommodate a behind-the-ear tuck, not to mention allow for a more workout-friendly, less Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai looking half-ponytail.

Anything more than a cleaning up of the ends would be wholly impractical, I decided.

But like last time, I had a lady on the brain and no matter how hard I fought against her, that cute little smile and wispy, longish pixie just wouldn't let me be.

And thank God for that, because I am so very much in love with my new Katie-Holmes-cum-Audrey-Tautou 'do -- a 'do whose channelling powers are already proving helpful in my me-want-me-get inner dialogue:

"It's been nine weeks, and I still can't go five minutes without thinking about those Jean-Michel Cazabat Vita pumps..."
"Think, Johanna, think -- what would Katie do?"
Slipping into vacant-eyed submission...
"What do you mean there was 'life' in my lifeless look? Really? Damn. Okay, onto Plan B."
"Channeling Audrey, channeling Audrey..."
(batting eyelashes)
"Donnez-moi mes chaussures fo**ues, s'il vous plait."

Because I owe all this short-haired magic to him, please offer your most sincere golf claps to my stylist Rodney at the Andre Chreky Salon on the corner of 16th and K. Yes, the one next door to the Burger King. Whether you favor pixie short, a shoulder-length bob or long and glamorous Hollywood hair -- Rodney is your man. Loquacious he's not, but what he lacks in a penchant for small-talk he more than makes up for with pure, efficient skill; he's deft, he's decisive and he will blow your 'effing mind with his perfect blow-out.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Looks great Jo!

(I love the self obsessed photos shoot to! Who was behind the camera? Monte?)

Johanna said...

AnĂ³nimo No Mas-

Thank you, darling (and muse). Yes, self-obsessed, indeed.

No, Monte wasn't behind it. In fact, he flat-out refused on the grounds that it went against his more humble nature.

In all seriousness, aside from shameless self-promotion, I also posted these pictures in the hopes that it would incite more women to opt for the short-cut. I've given you a really wonderful resource in Rodney, and all it takes is a phone call and a mustering of courage to actually go through with it. After that, it's smooth sexy sailing. You won't regret it!

Anonymous said...

Me lovey! I esp like the vacant-eyed photo. Too funny.

I think you know deep down that a lot of your readers (not just the male ones!) like to see pics of you, so thank you for indulging us. I couldn't pull off a cut that short, but I like seeing a woman who can rave about it the way you do. Down with Giselle hair!

Anonymous said...

Your shamelessness is one of the reasons why I love you so dearly. Very cute cut, my dear!

Anonymous said...

You look rough. Not a good look.

Lady Tiara said...

that is a great cut on you. i love short hair, but with curly (and frizzy in the DC summer) hair, it just doesn't work for me. i need some length to weigh my hair down and keep it from growing outward.

Anonymous said...

You look great Jo and Thank You for indulging me with more pics....
The cut looks great on you...You are just so gorgeous that is all I can say...sigh I'm just hooked....

Anonymous said...

The batting eyelashes pic makes you look like a boy skateboarder from the 90s!

Nika said...

You really are so stunning...

Johanna said...

anonymous 1-

That's because I'm always bloggin' and I can't get no sleep!

anonymous 2-

you're the only one who understood I was going for a "Gleaming the Cube" chic look! Thank God *someone* got it.

dara/bff in chicago/lady tiara/tom h/nika-

thank you for your kind words.

kisses,
J

Anonymous said...

"I also posted these pictures in the hopes that it would incite more women to opt for the short-cut. I've given you a really wonderful resource in Rodney, and all it takes is a phone call and a mustering of courage to actually go through with it."

move to a genocidal war zone half way around the world? no problem! confront corrupt government lackeys with direct evidence of human rights violations? sign me up! cut my hair above my shoulders? no f*cking way.

glad one of us has the balls in this friendship.

Anonymous said...

Your "Gleaming the Cube" allusion just won you back some points for placing Sienna Miller on your "Best" list from yesterday. She's cute but I can't stand the way she dresses.

You're gonna make some man really happy one day, girl.

Anonymous said...

You definitely have the cheekbones to pull this cut off. Love it.

Anonymous said...

Glamtasticliciousness! Love it!

Anonymous said...

You carry this cut off really well. And don't worry, you won't be mistaken for Posh. Yours is much less jagged and angular. Very classic.

Sorry to say, however, you've not inspired me to do the same. I'm holding onto my mid-back locks for as long as I can!

Anonymous said...

You're such a Posh wannabe, and it's sad, because you're a lot prettier than she is and you seem a lot smarter too. Why not just create your own identity?

Unknown said...

We need to have a little clarification here. When you posted the Katie pictures (pre-haircut), you wrote:

I nixed the pixie idea about 10 minutes after I wrote that post. I just don't have the face - or frame - for it. I think you have to have very elfin features like Natalie Portman, Halle Berry, etc. to really make super short hair look right.

So I wrote:
You don't need Halle Berry's face to look good in a pixie. You just need a pretty face. Michelle Williams is pretty but she doesn't have a gorgeous face. From your picture, you do indeed have a pretty face and it looks like you have great cheekbones.

You were insisting Katie was as short as you should go. I knew it wasn't true, but it looked good on you and I complimented you. Now you have gone shorter and you are in fact even hotter. A simple "you were right, Dave" will suffice as an apology.

I think you could have gone much closer to the Audrey cut. The shorter bang would bring out your eyes even more.

Anonymous said...

You are no Audrey and frankly you don't have the face for this cut. And an odd hairline ...
Sorry, the bob was better

Anonymous said...

Love you lots, but like your slightly longer bob better. regardless, you can pull it off unlike many others!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful.