17 May 2007

Quote of the day: Angelina Jolie

"I could be dressed up in the sexiest outfit for a photo shoot, and by his behavior, he'll let me know that's nice, but it's nothing as sexy as when I'm reading books [and] educating myself. "


(Angelina Jolie in response to the question, "What does Brad find sexy?")

Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

Maybe this is a guy-to-girl attraction I don't quite understand, but in my experience, watching your lover "educate" herself - at least in the context Angie implies - is hardly what I would consider a woman's zenith of sexiness.

In fact, in my last relationship, the most I-think-I'm-going-to-put-my-clothes-back-on moments I can recall were those when J would slip in any one of the Volumes I-XII of his Ancient Rome CD-ROM box set into his laptop and every few minutes shout out things like, "I totally thought that was Pericles, not Thucydides, go figure! Hon, did you see this? Didn't you think it was Pericles, too?"

No I didn't see it, and no, I didn't think it was whomever-you-just-said, I would reply without really knowing about what he was asking. And I wouldn't know because I was too busy watching my ladybit wave a surrender flag and dividing my time equally between "America's Next Top Model" and "Super Obese: I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day."

Smarts are sexy, there's no doubt about that. Some might argue the sexiest part of a person's allure. Professors and senior analysts at think-tanks wouldn't be getting as much out-of-their-league ass as they do if this weren't the case. But the process through which people must go to get to the point where they're considered experts - comps, study groups, overnighters in the library fueled by Diet Red Bull and Cool Ranch Doritos - this, better known as "educating oneself," is hardly arousing. Tell me, when was the last time you walked by SAIS, saw a 130lb guy highlighting a Keohane book on neoliberalism and bandied with the idea of offering him "a hand" with his um, game theory? The answer is never, because it doesn't happen. But take that same guy, 15 years down the road giving a talk at Brookings on his own ideas on international cooperatives, and well, yeah, I'd pull a Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardner and take him home post-lecture post-haste, too.

But back to Angie. I love her. I respect her. And if there was anyone in Hollywood with whom I would switch places in a heartbeat, after Katie Holmes, it would be her. That's why these past couple of pretentious statements she's made are so devastating to me. The last thing I want this temptress to turn into is a takes-herself-so-seriously-she-might-as-well-look-like-Kathy-Bates blowhard like Jennifer Connelly. Then again, there could be a double-standard going on here. Maybe I wouldn't find Angie's above statement so preposterous if she didn't look the way she does.

Call me superficial, but when I look at her in something like she's wearing above or in get-up like this, the last thing I'd want her to do to really get me in the mood is bring up Israeli airstrikes or pick up the latest issue of The Far Eastern Economic Review.

18 comments:

art spencer said...

would you REALLY want to be katie holmes? i'm assuming this is sarcasm, but if it's not, i am VERY curious about how you would rationalize the desirability of her life.
speaking of katie, i'm dedicating the theme song from dawson's creek to you on the air tonight, babe...

etcetera said...

one more reason for me to dislike angelina jolie. please, please, woman, for the love of all that is holy, stay out of my refugee camps.

Anonymous said...

Brains are sexy. A lot of guys think there's nothing hotter than a beautiful woman with curves in all the right places who is smart, too. At some point, that mouth has to say something.

Johanna said...

etcetera-

why are you commenting?? You're supposed to be getting ready for our girl-date! shouldn't somebody be strapping you into a corset or buckling up your seven-inch stripper heels?

bff in chicago said...

oh how annyoing this woman has become! I liked her so much better when she was having sex with Billy Bob in the limo on the way to red carpet events.

sigh...they all go downhill eventually.

tom h said...

Jo have fun tonight on your girl-date........we want details tomorrow......

Johanna said...

art spencer-

actually, yes, I would like to be Katie Holmes. Don't know why, but her life - alien religion aside - is so alluring to me. love her style, love her lifestyle, love all the mystery surrounding her.

go on ahead and dedicate it to me, baby. dedicate it one more time...

etcetera said...

j - my date prep consists of damaging my eyes by staring in to my computer for 8 hours, dashing home to let the dogs out for a quick pee and then scurrying down to our destination, hoping i dont work up too much of a sweat on the way. sorry to disappoint.

i assume we're just going to stand over a trashcan, pour in some lighter fluid, wave our bras over our heads and throw them in to the flames, right? while sipping bellinis, of course.

Johanna said...

Etc-

disappoint? please.

I like your suggestion for venue, though. I'll have to go home and fetch one of these "bras" of which you speak before we meet.

shameless crush said...

Tantric Sunday and now this? Johanna, whoever you are, wherever you are, you are my dream girl. But I'm pretty sure you hear that all the time, right?

A guy can wish...

west coast devotee said...

Get in line, shameless crush. There are about a mile of people in front of you.

But I will agree with you on the Tantric Sunday bit. What a lovely mid-Spring thought that is.

Anonymous said...

a mile of people, not all of whom are males :)

bff in chicago said...

Have fun on your girl-date, you cheating bitch! Down a bellini and burn your boyshorts for me!

Johanna said...

let's get one thing straight, it's not cheating if you announce it up-front.

And were I wearing boyshorts, sweets, be sure I'd burn 'em in your honor.

Bellinis await me!

i think you're brilliant said...

lucky etcetera...

etcetera said...

luck has nothing to do with it.

Johanna said...

true. it's all in the wrist.

I mean, good listening skills.

denver fan said...

can't wait to hear how it went!