Like a slow metabolism, big calves are here to stay

Calves, ankles, wrists, breasts, fingers, shoulders, hips, ears, forehead -- these are just some of the physical features that no matter how much weight we lose or gain might never look like the ideal version - Jennifer Connelly's calves, Scarlett's breasts, Natalie Portman's perfectly proportioned face, Kim Kardashian's hips (shown above), for example - we have in mind during that all those 50 minute 6.4 mph runs we put in at the gym four days a week, 52 weeks a year.

So, if we can't easily change certain physical features but we still aren't pleased with the way we look, what are our options?

Before I go any further, I should tell you all I was inspired to write this post not because of someone I saw walking to work this morning or because of my own personal attachment to the issue but because of two scathing comments that were written in response to a comment I'd made on another DC fashion blog where I preached my usual know-your-body's-strengths-and-weaknesses-and-dress-accordingly sermon and specifically suggested that the large-calved woman in the picture should have avoided a tea-length skirt, just as Kelly Osbourne should have - among other things - before she left the house looking like she did in the picture at right.

The first retaliatory comment I received was:

"Not only are you obnoxious, you don’t even realize that you are when someone points it out. I find your constant stream of fashion-magazine-wannabee comments trite and preachy."

And the second:

"Girls like Johanna tear others down to make themselves feel better. Classic."

As is expected, women like this - the kind who believe in things like equal playing time even for the girl who can't catch or throw and who go nuts when America Ferrara loses weight because they think she's more beautiful at a size 12 than she might be at a size 6 - don't really affect me when they hurl their you're-just-insecure barbs. Truth is, yeah, I am insecure about a few things, but none of them motivated me to write the comment I did nor do they influence me to stand behind and promote the cause of figure-flattering dress. To the contrary, the reason behind my words is that I want women to take stock of their physical selves, find those two, three or ten features of which they're most/least proud and dress to highlight/downplay them. Why? Because as my friend R says, "clothing is like armor" that when put together really well can make you feel confident, beautiful, even powerful, on your darkest days. So in a sense, I actually want to help people. Fancy that.

I'm not going to address each of the difficult-if-not-impossible-to-change physical features I listed above, primarily because I know I've written about most of them in past posts (maybe not wrists and foreheads, but I'll remember them in the future...) and secondarily because I still need to eat lunch.

So on that note, I leave you with two much-improved, stylist-aided outfits in which Kelly skipped the mid-calf hem and not only looks trimmer but noticeably more confident in the way she carries herself as well.