'Cause it's been a while.

Contrary to what my patient devotion for a certain individual has taught me, I suppose good things can come to those who wait. That was my first reaction, anyway, to these much-awaited photos of my number two lady love, Ms. Dita von Teese, who looked glamorous and elegant and delectable as ever at celebrity blogger Perez Hilton's birthday party last night in Las Vegas at The Palms' Moon Nightclub.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Laura Linney, Rachel McAdams, Christina Ricci -- all of these women buck Hollywood's tanorexic trend by spending 12 months out of 12 months without a hint of sun-kissed color. While I've always recognized and envied their willpower to remain pale, it wasn't until I began crushing on Dita, a fellow Michigander I've recently discovered, that a woman with a penchant for alabaster skin has made me seriously consider cutting back a few hours a week on my summer-time bronzing efforts.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely sold on the idea of beach umbrellas and SPF 45, but I also can't deny the drama in the contrast between Teese-me's white skin and red lips and her white skin and the black of her deep-plunge long-sleeve Rita-esque cocktail dress. The red-on-white-on-black elevates her look to a level of high-class old-world sophistication someone with the same standout figure with a Mystic Tan - or even a natural, well-earned Maui tan - could never achieve.

Unfortunately for the health of my sun-addicted skin, I could only read about her famously saucy "Birds of Paradise" burlesque performance; had I actually been able to see how her skin looked firsthand against a blood red crystal-encrusted chest-baring bustier, I'm near positive it would have been enough to motivate me to throw out my five bikinis, jumbo bottle of SuperStars Super Sheen Bronzing Mist ($18 at sephora.com) and the coupon magnet-ed to my fridge for a free 10-minute helix session at Solar Planet on 21st and P.