Eye candy of the week

The divine Ms. Katie, here at last night's UN-hosted "Raising Malawi" fundraiser, continues to raid my fantasy closet. Her geometric McQueen sheath makes me wanna fall in love with her all over again.Two of my favorites, ScarJo and Javier, doing the Grace/Jimmy thing in the new Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair. Chloë Sevigny in Elle UK modeling a Miu Miu so lovely (and hmm, so familiar...) I barely notice the retched pootie platform action going on down below.

Ripper-offers at Zara, please to take note of Rachel Roy's metallic mustard high-waisted skirt for one of your bazillion Fall collections. I'll take one in black, burgundy and gunmetal, too, if you have time. K'thanks.

Selma, Agyness -- lookie who just joined our club!

You might call it Angela-wear, but I *adore* this rosette-trimmed capelet from Koi Suwannagate's new Fall RTW collection.

After coming across this gem of a fun frock on Resurrection's website, I may have to make my way over to Mott St. while I'm in Manhattan this weekend...

Good to know even married supermodels have to walk off Saturday night shame now and again...

Ms. Teese upping the ante on stylish travel-wear. You say impractical, I say blueprint for next Friday's 6:05pm flight.

Rafaello's 'Lachey Way' aside, I plumb adore this long-time couple. I can only hope to one day find a man who looks this interested at a Fetherston fashion show...

I also adore this one on her own, especially when she takes a page from Ashley Olsen and pairs her breezy ballerina Marchesa dress with a slim-fitted LLJ.

Eva-va-va-VOOM!

I just can't get me enough of Ms. Mendes.

Not sure if it's her always glimmered to the hilt nut-brown skin, her sultry you-want-this-don't-you? photog face, those tremendous runner's calves (she claims to run 4 miles a day even on vacation) or her reliably ASJINE-approved sense of asset-flaunting, sky-high-heel-complementing, ladylike style, but whatever it is she's got, I not only want a piece but a wing, a drumstick and a nice juicy breast to go with it.

Perhaps it's that she has so many nice features from which to choose - legs, shoulders, skin, face, hair, arms, back - and so very few flaws - under-the-radar longtime boyfriend, having starred in a Will Smith movie - that I'm simply, utterly and completely in awe. I mean, only Eva could rock a demure, loose-fitting gold sheath, oversized black clutch and neutral slingback platform peep toes, an ensemble that on most women would look ho-hum, and knock it so far out of the park at this past weekend's Valentino-athon in Rome that women like Sarah Jessica Parker, Anne Hathaway and even the usually sublime Sienna Miller (though here, um, well, uh...I'm at a loss) in their much more amped-up gowns, were forced to lower their heads in we're-not-worthy defeat.

Jesus H. Christ

There was a big-ass black bow below the caboose of this train-wreck, too.

Sheesh.

Worst five

These aren't in any particular order, mainly because I couldn't decide between Kirsten Dunst in Chanel and Beyoncé in Armani Privé not only whose dress was the bigger mistake but also who most egregiously grandstanded their worst feature.

Wonky teeth or knees the size of basketballs -- you decide.

And no, I don't feel bad for including 10 year old sweet-as-berry-pie Abigail Breslin in this group. The bodice of her dress looks like one of the planters from my Malibu Barbie pool house. I expected more from her handlers.

The biggest disappointment of the night is Anne Hathaway's black and white WTF Valentino gown. After On Demand-ing The Devil Wears Prada for the third time today, I figured she would be in my top five, maybe even crack the top three, but nuh-uh, not in this column dress with white lace overlay and awkwardly large black bow that is smack dab in front of - and prohibitively blocking - Ms. Hathaway's spectacular rack.

And then there's Jada Pinkett-Smith in her brassy-gold strapless corseted Carolina Herrera number. I wouldn't hate this dress as much if it was on a less annoying woman and didn't have those two superfluous miniature bows on the bodice. Actually, I'm pretty sure she'd end up in my bottom five no matter what she wore.

She's that annoying.

Enjoy.