It was only a matter of time before a website like HotEnough - a site that through "selective screening" only allows the "hottest looking" singles to get their cyber-flirt on - came along.
Similarly, it was only a matter of time before someone as obsessed with the quantification of hotness - her own hotness, in particular - discovered this site and submitted her required two neck-up and one full-body photos for an assessment opaquely described by HotEnough's CEO as "a voting process."
Since that short and deeply dissatisfying two-year stint with SeekingArrangement (I'm kinda still waiting for that trip to Morocco and a Cartier Tank watch from bigpoppa11 and cumletmebuyuthingz69, respectively), I've not been too inclined to re-enter the world of Internet dating. Why HotEnough, then? It's simple. The reason I've applied to join this exclusive community is solely to find out my somewhere-between-8-and-10 "hotness score." Not sure what I'll do with said score...probably print out the congratulatory e-mail and stick it on my wall at work in between the picture of Monte in a tux and Monte with peanut butter on the roof of his mouth. Or maybe I'd neatly fold it and put it in my wallet so that every time someone catches one of my judgmental looks and confronts me with a "What makes you think you're so hot?" verbal throwdown, I could just pull out my tabulated hotness figure and say, "This -- this is how I know!" And I'd win, because science is science.
What happens to those whose pictures earn them a score of 7 or below? Well those individuals - the chaff, we'll call them - are sent curt rejection e-mails and a demoralizing list of other more "open-minded" online dating sites to consider.
Okay, I made that last part up.
Ooooh, I just received my HotEnough confirmation e-mail:
Thank you for registering.
We've received your registration and we're judging your photos. We will let you know shortly if you are hot enough to be a prospective member.
HotEnough Administration
HotEnough Administration
"Judging my photos?" "Hot enough?" Thank the lord for filler stories on the local news - this is just the kind of superficiality I needed to indulge in at the end of a rainy Tuesday.
