And just when I thought money *didn't* matter...

...I come across a breathstoppingly beautiful, a so-perfectly-designed-to-accentuate-the-waist-to-hip countour that my hand is involuntarily drawn to my lips, could-only-be-couture ensemble like Hilary Swank's Louis Vuitton structured asymmetric wool cowl-neck blouse with pleated hem and matching pencil skirt at the launch of Guerlain's new perfume, "Insolence," at Selfridges in London earlier today.

I love the color, I love the cut, I love the dramatic sweep across the bustline of the exaggerated cowl -- frankly, if I had the money, this is exactly the kind of prim, conservative outfit you'd find me wearing to work everyday.

Now, if I had long hair like Hilary does, I certainly wouldn't have pulled a Petra and mucked up the showpiece quality of the neckline by allowing it to trickle down and tumble over the side. Instead, I'd have chosen a simple, side-parted upswept chignon, similar to what I imagine is underneath the runway model's very large beret, or, as Bridal Bird identified it earlier, the "[The Peculiar] Purple Pieman [of Porcupine Peak] hat."


Another weensy nitpick I have involves Ms. Swank's choice of footwear, which looks to me a bit too close in silhouette to both the pilgrim booty and hipster pootie to which, as you well know, I can offer not a whit of endorsement.

Instead, I would have chosen an equally Autumnal but slightly less full-coverage pump like this one from Gucci that in addition to having a more pleasing aesthetic, as a bonus, would have allowed the brown in the heel to nicely pick up the chestnut hue of the large YSL dome-shaped bowler bag clutched in Hilary's hand.

People in the more mainstream fashion industries tend to believe that for every expensive outfit one can always find an equally stylish more reasonably-priced alternative, and on most days, especially when I find a near-identical match for my "If I had a sugar daddy..." feature, I agree with this statement. But then there are other times, like this one, when the design in question is as much an artistic accomplishment as it is something pretty to wear, when I have to bow my short crop in defeat and accept the fact that a trip to the Jersey Shore may be fun, may have sun and may have 99 flavors of shaved ice, is just not the same as a vacay aboard the Diddy yacht in St. Tropez.

More of Hilary looking almost perfect in LV:

Strapless done well. *Really* well.

It's been a good two months since I last complained about the curious misconception the majority of women - most notably brides and sorority girls - are under that strapless is an equal-opportunity, universally flattering neckline.

For the sake of time and to avoid the sheer frustration of having to explain (again) why back fat and bean-bag upper arms aren't exactly assets to which you want to draw attention at a formal gathering, I won't take you through my analysis of why only a very small percentage of women can rock sweetheart-strapless and an even smaller percentage of that percentage can rock straight-edge-strapless.

No, instead I'll just gaze upon the strawberry satin strapless tea-length Peter Soronen dress with eye-catching asymmetric structured bustline, hue-matching cinch and pencil skirt bottom Hilary Swank wore last night to the L.A. premiere of her new thriller, The Reaping. Very similar in silhouette to Reese Witherspoon's lemon Nina Ricci frock at this year's Golden Globes, Hilary's dress fits just so in all the difficult regions, which is a feat not easily achieved when dealing with satin, especially in a lighter color.

Note how in the widest part of her tiny frame - her hips - there is neither bunching from a too-tight fit, nor unnecessary hanging from a too-loose one. The bunching you think you're seeing, as far as I can tell, is just that pesky and unavoidable wrinkle-age from the limo ride. At the neckline, the cut and thickness of the structured fabric allows the double Oscar winner's generous chest to look considerably smaller than the perfect C-cup we know is hiding under there.

When you're a lady like Hilary, you recognize that at a still-light-out event, it's much more appropriate to showcase the shoulders and back, not the ladies, ample as they may be.

As for the rest of her ensemble, I must say I'm a bit disappointed. I think her makeup is too washed out for her pale complexion; I think her hair looks sheen-depleted and the style poorly executed with errant fly-aways and not-sure-if-they're-meant-to-be-pulled-back-or-poofed-up bangs; I think her Manolo Blahnik patent leather buckled sandals ($585 at bergdorfgoodman.com) are too avant garde and too distracting for the simple, feminine cut of the dress; I think the Chopard necklace is okay but doesn't serve any real complementing purpose. It's just there - the hallmark of an unnecessary accessory.

And the belt. Not a fan of that, either. Her extremely formal, estate-sale-looking jewelry acts in contradiction to the modern casual nuance of the waist-cinch. It's confusing to the eye, and I'd have gotten rid of both. For shoes, I would have either gone a bit bronzer or stayed in the nude palette but since the dress is so simple, selected something with fewer, thinner straps and unique adornments or cut-outs like these other Manolos.

Aside from the dress itself, Hilary's sizable diamond studs and red and white mod minaudière are pretty much the only other components I'd give a positive nod.

Well, those and the unabashed admiration she shows herself in the first picture.

Money doesn't buy that kind of self-love. I should know.