29 November 2007

JenConn's shoulders and Monte are going to win *every* time


I was out fairly late last night, which meant once I finally did return, I was left with two options:

(1) search online for 10-15 pairs of versatile, under-$200 party shoes to complement the dress collection I posted earlier in the week, write from scratch the accompanying piece, take the pup on his abbreviated four-block walk and go to bed alone around 1:30am

OR

(2) write the excuse piece you're currently reading, spend 90 minutes in the gym working toward my current goal of achieveing JenConn's upper-body (the more ambitious waist-down goal is one I'm saving for after the New Year), take the pup on his preferred 10-block walk and go to bed in you-know-who's loving paws about 45 minutes earlier

As much as I love you guys, you should know by now that JenConn's shoulders and Monte are going to win *every* time.

But don't fret, hopefully you're resting up like the little one to chat me up all night at tonight's DC Style get-together at the Topaz Hotel. If you haven't already done so, please click here to RSVP.

See you there - I'll be the elitist-looking one double-fisting flutes of bubbly!

(Mmmmm...Net-a-Porter's Sale Spectacular...)

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

What "upper body?" That's what I looked like after a month-long battle with mono.

I still love your blog, though.

lila m. said...

let's not start this "she's too thin"/"you're too thin" argument again...

can't wait to meet you tonight!

C said...

Is it wrong that I involuntarily put one hand up to the screen where Monte's paws are, as if we were separated by prison glass?

sniff, sniff...

Anonymous said...

I think you already have Jen Conn.'s upper body?

Johanna said...

C-

After the spectacularly accurate job you did yesterday at predicting what was on my little one's Xmas list (i.e., 2 pairs brass knuckles (XS), 1 Burberry ski-mask and 6 cans of whoopass), nothing you say or do could be wrong.

He also reminded me this AM to pass along the critique that he is none to fond of Texas Senator's wife hair on anyone other than Marie Osmond. He's had a bit of a crush on her since he discovered her doll collection segments on QVC, as you might know.

best,
J

Anonymous said...

I actually think *your* shoulders are better than hers already....

Kate said...

JenConn's lower body isn't so great, though - I think because she is rather bow-legged. Her legs are nice and slender, but I don't like seeing her in skirts because of the shape of her calves.

Anonymous said...

You're all crazy. She is clearly waaaay too thin and anyone who wants to emulate her has body image issues and shouldn't be looked to for advice on anything appearance related.

I come here for the dog pictures. At least HE is at a healthy weight!

tellin' it like it is said...

What in the world are you doing in the gym for 90 minutes??? Get in, get out, go have dinner with the dog!

Noelle said...

I agree with tellin' it like it is. Girl, you look fabulous and would probably look just as beautiful with a healthy 30 minutes in the gym per day regiment.

Also, I agree with the others - Connolly's upper body ain't nothin' special. I like my women thin, but she's just not pretty.

ASJiNE devotee said...

You really are masterful at making me roll my eyes at you (working out for 90 minutes when you're already a size 2) and adoring you (taking pictures of your sweet dog asleep against your handbag) in the span of a few sentences.

Jennifer Connelly may be too thin for my taste but her face is beautiful! What are you girls talking about??

dara said...

I can't wait for tonight! Is Monte coming too? The Topaz is a dog friendly hotel, you know.

Anonymous said...

I definitely also aspire to JenCo style shoulders and arms. How are you working on getting her slender upper arms? I'm guessing calorie reduction is the only way to go, right? I worry that weight work will just make my upper arms muscular, not slim. Thoughts?

Anonymous said...

I am anon 9:08. I wasn't trying to start a "too thin" debate. I actually think it's important to stay on the slim side (within reason). I just find Jennifer Connelly to be an unappealing bobblehead. And she has a serious manface in that pic. Tootsie, anyone?

intern in the city said...

I'm so excited to have my dinner tonight be champagne and dessert bars. There's the added bonus of getting to meet my favorite blogger, yes, but a tummy fully of lemon squares? Nothing comes close.

Wait a minute, I just realized this is a style magazine hosting the party...will it just be diabetic candy canes and soy milk lattes?

glammy said...

That dog of yours is DElovely.

Wish I were in town to come tonight :-(

p.s. the Tootsie reference made me laugh out loud!

Johanna said...

I'm so excited to see all of you there tonight as well!

No, no, there will be REAL desserts -- it's not like they put *me* in charge of catering or anything, in which case yes, it would've been a much more body-conscious spread.

No, the pup won't be making an appearance tonight. He demands three month's notice for these kinds of things or it's a "no-go" as he puts it.

Admittedly, the pic of Jen above (in McQueen!) is not her finest facially, but in terms of her shoulders - the real point of its inclusion in this post - I think it's pretty spectacular. Just the right amount of muscle tone. As someone said earlier in reference to Monte, she looked DElovely.

A few of you have e-mailed me today asking if you should change after work for the event, and my answer is "no," wear what you've got on. Unless, that is, what you've got on is ugly and casual.

Then maybe you should just skip it altogether.

I kid! I kid! (sort of)

happy Thursday,
J

p.s. 90 minutes is the extended version of my usual 70 minute workout. cut me some slack, don't we all add some time to our gym regiment after Thanksgiving?

Anonymous said...

Jo, if you don't post your follow-up to yesterday's "Duhn't," we're going to start doing it for you.

la said...

What does your 70 minute routine consist of? I am in desperate need of a new workout/moves. Thanks!!

Johanna said...

anonymous 1:48-

goodness gracious, I totally forgot about the follow-up! thanks for the reminder! I'll either have it up tomorrow or Monday at the latest. Sorry!

la-

right now, since I'm in one of my two "off" months (the month after a race I don't run for an entire month), my normal 70 minute routine consists of either 55 minutes on the elliptical or bike and 15 minutes of push-ups and lat pulldowns. I guess you could call it an 80 minute workout, because I usually stretch for a good 10 minutes in between my cardio and strength training.

When I go from 70 to 90 minutes as I did last night, I simply increase the cardio by 20 minutes.

Once I begin running again on Saturday, my workouts are pretty much whatever my Running World marathon training spreadsheet tells me to do for that day.

Plus the push-ups and pull-downs, of course. That back and those shoulders aren't going to define themselves, now are they?

best,
J

bff in chicago said...

I agree with anonymous 10:42 - yours upper-body surpasses JenConn's. I like the little extra muscle tone you've got. Plus you aren't so pale. Or so annoyingly uppity.

Actually, you *can* be but not as frequently ;-)

brown bride to be said...

I disagreed with you yesterday about Beyonce's failure to wear flattering clothing, but then when I went a-searchin' myself, I came to realize that you were dead on. Short shorts and super super tight dresses. I'd say she has about a 10% success rate. Good thing she has such a pretty face .

Anonymous said...

Have you seen your girl Katie's new do? Just saw it on Perez!

Anonymous said...

Hawt! Girls who can pull off bangs are rare and wonderful creatures.

s said...

Oh crap! Katie, why? It looks like the Osbourne daughter's haircut in Chicago. Not good, not good. Oh, and Johanna - are pushups what you do for your upper arms? I'm pretty much your size, have tiny wrists, but find it hard to work out a way to get slim upper arms without muscle bulk.