11 July 2007

Good prices happen to those who wait

Oh, how I 've waited for you, Report Signature Sigourney pumps!

With your 4-inch stiletto prop, almond-toe lead, vintage-inspired buckle and realistic-looking croc embossing, it was nothing if not an unexpected love-at-first-sight when we initially met. I normally don't graze in the closed-toed pasture, I'm a predictable, show-off-my-black-polish-pedi peep toe girl, but as life has taught me in recent years, sometimes the best chances to take are those which we look back on and place in the "I would never have thought..." category.

More than a year ago, while in search of that ideal sexy-but-not-too-sexy office dress shoe, I drop-down menu-ed "7.5," "black," and "2-3/4" and up" on Zappos.com and found you sitting prettily two-thirds of the way down on page 17 of 56.

There you were and there you stayed for 14 straight months, viewable from six different angles (seven if you count the "closeup"), sale-free at the then prohibitive retail price of $143.95.

I went through countless episodes of "add to basket" therapy - the act of placing an item you know you won't buy in your virtual shopping cart so as to palliate that initial but-I-want-it-so-badly desire - each time more painful than the last to force my hand to the abort-mission red-and-white "X" in the right hand corner of my browser.

I know, I know, I'm the girl who plunked down $300 for her gold-foil Kate Spade Lovers in May 2006 and about that same amount for her pristinely-preserved vintage platform peep toes in February 2007, but $144 for what would be my 14th pair of office-only black pumps? Even with my ridiculously efficient justification-generating machine of a mind, I just couldn't do it.

Until last week.

During my regular round-robin of wishlist-item stalking, I came across the most unexpected discount of the year: my precious pair of Report Signatures had dropped in price by 10% to $129.56. While $144 had been just over that mental spending limit, $130 was well within the me-want-me-buy ballpark.

But just as I was about to reach that final "purchase now" Valhalla, I fortuitously remembered my Charles David Rosa experience from earlier this Winter, and with that on the brain, two words involuntarily tumbled off and out of my moisturized lips: "Internet comparisons."

Prepared for a long online haul, I settled into my couch with a snack of three strawberry Twizzlers and 28 fat-free Pringles (read: two carefully-counted-out servings), popped open a new Foxfire window, consulted "the Google," and low-and-freakin'-behold, what do I find in the very first result but this.

The princeling may not have cared how scorching hot his Mommy looked last night as she took her first steps in those beloved Sigourneys, but he'll certainly appreciate the $102 savings the next time they head to Doggiestyle to replenish his long-ago depleted stock of overpriced organic chicken jerky.


nyc admirer said...

okay, Jo, this is it, I'm coming down to DC and taking you out for a steak dinner. when exactly did you get so stick thin? what happened to the curvy girl I saw not even three months ago?

Eat a Snickers for breakfast for me, okay?

Johanna said...

it's the angle, I'm sure...

a definite "yes" on the steak dinner offer.

and that would be a "no" on the Snickers-for-breakfast rec.


brown rowergirl said...

Eh, not a fan. I think they look kind of schoolmarm-ish. Aside from that gigantic stilt, of course. How the hell are you not in a wheelchair yet?

Have a third serving of those Pringles, 'kay?

intern in the city said...

Sweet Monte and his little squeaky egg!

I like the shoes. I think the super high heel is a nice contrast to the conservative shape. And who doesn't love an almond toe? I mean, really?

Anonymous said...

I find your writing style to be headache-some.

Is it tough going through life this pretentiously?

Anonymous said...

You are a very bad influence. Instead of saving my moolah for that final payment on my trip to Antigua this August, I instead bought these shoes (in gray) in less than a minute. I just couldn't stop click, click, clicking my way through the checkout. At least I'll be in good shape for the islands since I won't have food money!

Brunch Bird said...

J, I am sorry to say that you have the dubious honor of having the tritest haters in the blogosphere. Seriously, if I'm forced to read one more yawn-inducing "I don't like you, you're mean" comment I'm going to demand you turn comment moderation on. It's like they're not even trying.

freckledk said...

Surprise! More ANONYMOUS hate mail for Johanna. Shocking!

Methinks that some of your readers are jealous of their own fallen arches and their closet(s) full of Payless and can't stand to see you rocking a pair of cripplers. Don't let their obvious envy ruin what for you was a sweet deal. Enjoy 'em.

K said...

Good work, girl. I never, EVER wear shoes like that to the office (I'm in a Johannacringemaking knit sundress and sandals right this very second) and I very nearly clicked through to purchase. They had my size in black!

But the final internet check is a must. I was about to finally, FINALLY buy those William Rast jeans that look so great on JSimp lately. I'd searched high and low for them. And right before I put in the credit card info, I did a quick search for the name of the website + "coupon" and lo and behold, I got 30% off. Makes the jeans that much sweeter, don't you know.

And like the Antigua traveler, the diet I'll go on for buying them will just make them look that much better.

tom h said...

Wow Jo great legs and love the shoes....you look great.......

etcetera said...

brunch bird - good call. i love it.
j - can we paint our nails black tonight?

Arjewtino said...

I find the word headache-some to be both groan-inducing and hyphen-needing.

Johanna said...

brown rowergirl-

"eh"? that's the best you got? what kind of crackpot undergraduate education didz you gett?

intern in the city-

I'm all about the almond toe. After the round/peep toe, natch.


I'm totally stealing "headache-some" and not giving you credit!


I'm so glad you got them! But beware the 4-inch non-platform heel. I'm literally standing on my tippy-toes when walking around on these. I've already resigned to the fact that I will be eating curb on my way home tonight.

Nothing makes clothes look better than fewer calories. Not *no* calories, people, but *fewer*.

brunch bird-

they're all still in awe of your FTW comment from 2 Fridays ago. It's not their fault they can't hang with your wit and articulate insights.


you never fail to put a smile on my face :-) I think it's the freckle connection.


you could wear whatever to work, and as long as it didn't cover up your pretty face and your pretty chest, you'd have my envy.

good on you for the WR jeans!

tom h. -

again, too sweet. thank you.


I'm walking across the street at lunch and getting the 'spensive stuff - Chanel Black Satin. I'm popping your black polish cherry RIGHT.


as long as you don't find my posts in any more need of hyphens (I'm already at the saturation point as it is), we're cool. And thanks for sticking up for me, even though I am neither Jewish nor Argentine.

dc girl said...

I take it this comment served as your afternoon post?

Darn it.

love the shoes. Would get them myself (in black as well) but they don't have my size. Just as well...

a fan said...

after reading your post i almost bought these at zappos (amazon didn't have my size) however commenters said these shoes are really uncomfortable even for people used to wearing heels. did you find that to be true, honestly? like you, i have barbie feet.

knew you as hannie, too said...

you bratty girls and your barbie feet. i didn't realize hannie had a foot-twin out there. i don't know if you can get the clear sense from these photographs or not, but hers are the highest I've ever seen EVER.

she shoulda been a ballerina...

Anonymous said...

Can I please ask you what you do to stay so in shape? In my view, you have the perfect figure.

I'm really not trying to flatter you, I'm just being honest.

So beyond calorie restriction and obviously really good genetics, what is your workout regiment like?

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA.. are you serious?!?! She might be skinny- but lots of girls have better figures. AND--girl is FUG in the face. FUG. FUG. FUG.

K said...

Anonymous, if you're gonna call our Johanna "fug in the face" - when her pretty mug is right up there in the corner and all over this site for anyone to see - I'm gonna have to ask to see your photo. I have a feeling it ain't so sweet. Which just means I'll have to ignore your opinion, I guess.

And I SO wanted to believe you! Your evidence and expertise on the matter is truly astounding.

Brunch Bird said...

That's the spirit last Anon! Your comment is witty, on topic, and engaging. Oh, hold on a second...oh, no, I'm sorry. Your comment is idiotic. Fug? Next time, use your big people words, dear.

Anonymous said...

Brunch bird- Clearly you are missing the sarcasm in my message. OBVIOUSLY Johanna isn't 'fug'. Seriously, lady!

If I was serious in that post- what kind of person would that make me? I'm not "Not a fan" (whomever that is really sucks, by the way) Give a well dressed sister a break!!

Sorry ASJINE readers- I kid! I kid!


Anonymous said...


What is wrong with you? Even by blog standards, this is a mean-spirited and mindlessly hostile post.

Do yourself a favor and get a therapist - deal with your issues and get off Johanna's back.


Anonymous said...

Just out of curiousity, does ANYONE believe she was kidding?

I sure as hell don't.


bff in chicago said...

if you expect anyone to believe that was sarcasm, beeyotch, you craaaazy. even if you don't, you still craaaazy.

where in those 3 sentences was there any indication you didn't mean word-for-word what you said?

tips on how to dress better are the last thing you should be thinking about. you and your 11 other personalities need to get to a therapist. and fast.

Anonymous said...

What BFF said. Take a walk, head case.


Anonymous said...

err those make you look like your half-asian side is starting to get the better of you and your calves are growing larger! Not your best picture.

AnĂ³nimo No Mas said...

Anonymous @ 6:29 PM, Are you saying she has very small feet? Or what other vaguely Asian stereotype were you going for?

Jo, the shoes are tall, be careful!
However, (as ever!) YOU look fantastic! Fill me in on lunch.

west coast devotee said...

I think she looks just fine. Good enough to swirl around in my gin and tonic.

of which I will have two, sir.

these are ok, but I prefer the peep toes.

Candid Cool said...

those shoes are fab