Quote of the day: Pam Anderson

"Scarlett Johansson would definitely be my number one choice, but I doubt she would ever agree to do it."

(Pam Anderson, on who her ideal Playboy Playmate would be)

Unfortunately for all of us, I think Pammy is right on this one.

But don't fret, I see ScarJo getting "tastefully" nude in a Merchant-Ivory-esque film in the very near future. Women with bodies like hers don't like to be encumbered by clothes and accessories; nudity is their default, whether they're at home making microwave popcorn, splayed on a hotel room chaise watching Kindergarten Cop on HBO or climbing into bed with The Executioner's Song for a quick read-n-nap in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. I see her as the kind of woman who's already unbuttoning, unfastening and de-tucking her various articles of clothing before she even pulls her house key out of her handbag. Because of her why-wear-pants-if-I-don't-need-to? attitude, she's the kind of woman who would be just as likely to wear nothing but a trench to pick her man up from the airport as she would meet her girlfriend for coffee or head to CVS for a late-night pint of pineapple coconut Häagen Dazs.

While the prospect of never seeing Scarlett's lusciousness on the cover of a nudey-rag is certainly depressing, I think we can all agree that waiting for rewind-able, pause-able, slow-motion-able video footage is way worth passing on a few airbrushed-to-the-hilt stills.

Even after seeing Scarlett's not-so-lovely gams on-stage at the Coachella music festival last weekend, my fingers are still crossed she nabs the role Lindsay Lohan abandoned in the in-production Dylan Thomas biopic, The Best Time of Our Lives. Rumor has it there's a racy, nudity-required Keira Knightley/???/Matthew Rhys ménage à trois written into the script.

A beautiful Brit, a sexy Welsh and an American temptress -- now that sounds tasteful.