18 April 2007

Kinda over her


Aside from her terrific ass, I'm not really sure why I was so fixated on Jessica Biel.

Her movies are forgettable, she has more than a hint of man shoulders, and if Us Weekly sales are any metric for how interesting a person is, she falls short of both the Spelling family and Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman.

There's no argument, however, over the fact that she can rock a ChloƩ dress and fitted trench like few others can, evidenced again last night outside Dave Letterman's studio in a Paulo Melim Andersson designed prim white 3/4-sleeve embellished A-line sweater dress and a long gunmetal gaberdine cinched coat. Not crazy about the stacked wooden-heeled peeptoes, but that's a me thing, not a style thing -- I just don't care to see anything fatter than a four-inch Bruno Frisoni toothpick propping up a woman's foot.

Then there's the handbag, or shall I say, bodybag? Seriously, is she carrying a Bowflex in that thing? It's ridiculous. Plus, white-on-white-on-white is almost never a good idea, because unless their tones match perfectly, you end up looking like you've tried too hard to be matchy-matchy. And there's only one thing worse than looking matchy-matchy, and that's tried-and-failed matchy-matchiness. Were I her stylist, I would've chosen for Jess a warm chocolatey brown pair of stiletto pumps like these from Celine and a subtle metallic-and-khaki clutch like this one from Marc Jacobs. Complement, don't match, sweetie.

But perhaps what I find most disappointing in this series of photos - other than her unseasonably mid-winter berry lips - is the realization that Ms. Biel may not be an officer of the cankle club, after all.


Looks like Katie Holmes will be stepping in to pinch-hit for Jess this season!

3 comments:

tom h said...

You are sooo right she has the best ass........she is actually gorgeous if I might say....

bff in chicago said...

I always thought she had a big fat pumpkin face, to be honest.

Sick body, though. I kind of like her man shoulders...

west coast devotee said...

I only like her in a bikini -- from behind.