All morning I've been trying to figure out just how this fiercely toned stomach and these wonky thighs can be attached to the same 25 year old woman.
I thought and thought and thought about it until I got such a brain headache I decided it'd be easier to first negotiate a Treaty of Friendship between China and Japan, craft a strategy to quell the insurgency in Al Anbar province and finally, convince all American children to want Marmite-and-butter sandwiches instead of Lunchables.
Phew, after all that, I think I'm ready to take a second look.
(taking a second look)
Nope, still flummoxed. And on my way to the Post Office to mail this hot mess some pants.