28 February 2007

Stop the spread

I saw something this morning I'd never seen before on DC's commuter-packed streets: a MAN in formal business attire wearing bright white sneakers carrying his dress shoes in a Whole Foods bag.

This guy was not on his way to a Teen People party, he wasn't Justin Timberlake, and as far as I could tell, he wasn't that guy who still lives at home by choice and lets his mother set his clothes (and shoes) out each morning.

I gave him as fierce and obvious an up-and-down as I could in my shocked state so he wouldn't only sense but also see how aghast I was at his footwear choice. Then, I looked in his distressed leather satchel, half expecting to find a Third Eye Blind Greatest Hits album and an issue of Practical Male magazine dog-eared at the "How to make a woman not want you" article. As I scanned past his brown-bag lunch and ridiculously large population of highlighters, I stopped, frozen.

And then, honestly, I swallowed vomit.

As I looked to this man's left - in part so I could give my incredulous look a rest - I noticed two women, not together, one in a skirt suit and one in a sheath dress, both of whom were in sneakers bop-bop-bopping along to their iPods completely oblivious to just how quickly and how widely their kind's infection had spread throughout this city.

In that moment, looking at the three of them, I realized that what I previously assumed was a gender impervious to the suit-n-sneakers malady is apparently just as vulnerable. And from what I saw, the end-results have the potential to be even more devastating.

Please do your part and stop the cycle. Please.


Anonymous said...

That would make me vomit as well, probably because I'm a man who appreciates style.

Let's just hope this wasn't a good suit. If it was, I might cry a little, too.

Anonymous said...

Dear God.

I actually paled when I read this. Given that I'm brown by birth, that's no small feat.

I take solace in the thought that anyone that clueless wouldn't have the wit to buy a good suit.

Still, what if he got ahold of a Canali by accident ... oh my god.


brown rowergirl said...

Two words: dumpable offense.

a fan said...

You should've said something right there and then to all 3 of 'em. Set up a style workshop right on the intersection.

A man in a suit with sneakers? That's truly appauling.

dc girl said...

Do your feet ever hurt from walking so much in heels? They have to!

There is absolutely no excuse for a man to wear sneakers with a suit. NO EXCUSE.

Anonymous said...

I almost don't believe you. I've lived here for 2 years and never seen a dude in a suit and sneakers. Maybe you're just a bad fashion magnet.

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