Eye candy of the week

She may drink her own breast milk and be the kind to leave a Post-It in her friend's apartment reminding her to recycle, but with her asymmetrically shaved pixie and super lean runway frame, 24 year old Claire from NYC was the easy choice to be my prized pony for this, the tenth (!) installment of "America's Next Top Model."

Here, a video introduction:

It's so true what they say about typecasting. Luke Perry and Jennie Garth have grown up, gotten married, raised children, ridden bulls and danced the cha-cha-cha, but try as I may, these two together, even at some random event called "Chevy Rocks!", will always make me think first and foremost of Kelly's face after Brenda skewered her (in front of Dylan!) with the classic, "I was always taught that if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck…"

HRL, take note, Rihanna at last night's Brit Awards is your eye makeup blueprint for my "Jumpsuit Mandatory" birthday celebration. Tick tock, woman, get to practicing!

After enduring four straight days of not being able to avoid Lindsay Lohan's painfully unsexy attempt at recreating Marilyn's "Last Sitting" (not to mention her mother's insufferable interviews pertaining thereto), I've come up with an idea.

How about we take this young curvy thing here...
And make some Jayne Mansfield magic?
My favorite photo of Scott's this week captured all that I love about a well-dressed man: fitted, formal, polished and neat. The yellow accent of eccentricity, the silvery tousle and the Gucci boutique backdrop certainly don't hurt, either...

After I figure out the genesis behind Tommaso Aquilano and Roberto Rimondi's decision to anoint themselves "6267," I'm going to place at the tippy top of my wishlist their breathtaking take on the perfect formal showpiece coat.Or at least let it share top billing with this front-draped, skinny-cinched Bottega Veneta sheath...
...and this tiered one-sleeve Marni blouse peeking out from under this structured coat, which, if there's room, I might slide somewhere else in my top 10.
I know presidential politics are and should be rooted in substance, but let's suspend reason for a second and imagine how cool it would be if our First Family looked like this instead of this?

My ticket on the Megan Fox Express has long since expired -she's just too one-dimensional is what it comes down to- but holy wow, that's one hard to miss rib tatt she's got there. I don't really care what it says (if you do, click here), I'm just in awe of a woman with that little protective fat who chose the most painful part of the body on which to have a needle create not just a small fairy or the Chinese character for "serenity" but something of the that-must've-taken-a-good-45-minutes variety. Color me impressed, MegFo.

Am I asking too much here?

Ever since the post I wrote over the holidays expressing my frustration over the female to male formal-dress disparity -"the Lachey way," I called it- I've received an inordinate number of e-mails from male readers prompting me to, as one put it, "at least throw up some photos of styles you like and get a dialogue started."

So fine, here are a few pictures of Javier "takes my breath away" Bardem last night at the New York Film Critic's Circle Awards where he took home top prize for his performance in No Country for Old Men -- the film currently atop my must-see-before-Oscar-night list.

What do I like about his look?

For me, men's clothing, just like women's, is 90% fit, 10% swoon-worthy details. Here on Javier, I just love the fit of the jacket and shirt across his barrel chest. The trousers look slightly bunchy in the um, area of interest, but to be honest, after seeing these snaps, I don't really mind so much the snugness.

I suppose my "eh, he can get away with it" allowance is the equivalent of a man rationalizing a hot chick in a pleather push-up bustier top, isn't it?

Yikes.

Anyway, back to Javier's outfit. What I like about his choices are the strong but muted colors and cuts -- I like the gunmetal, I like the spread collar, the slim but not too slim cut of the pants, and of course, who wouldn't give it up for a man whose left eye looks as if it might've met with a Chuck Liddell uppercut? If he were out with a beautifully dressed woman, she would still garner the lion's share of attention (as she should), but he wouldn't look out of place or comparatively under-dressed by her side. That, to me, should be a man's goal. My kind of man's goal, anyway.

Now whether the cuff of those pants hits his shoes just right or the thread-count of his suit is season-appropriate are other issues altogether; on those kinds of specific distinctions I haven't the slightest clue, nor any helpful insight.

So I guess what I'm saying to the men out there who are looking for an ensured second date with me or with any other picky Pollyanna (cue my Kristin Wiig in Knocked Up voice) is make your body look like Javier's, go to a store with one of these pictures, show it to a salesman, buy this exact suit and look just like him.

More of my ideal below: