14 January 2008

Lifetime's best offering since "The Babysitter's Seduction"


Don't ask me why, because I'm not sure I could offer much in the way of an explanation, but I spent nine-tenths of my time this past weekend rediscovering my slothful side by taking in hours (and hours) of the deliciously vapid fare on which the Lifetime Network -and if you have mega cable, the Lifetime Movie Network (LMN) as well- has built its sterling reputation.

In stunning, before-they-were-famous performances I haven't seen since the days of dancing fingertips-to-shoulders to Firehouse ballads, Montesquieu and I spent the last three days in a perma-spoon watching Kirsten Dunst bitch it up prenatal-style in 15 and Pregnant, Keri Russell bikini her way into bed with Reverend Camden in The Babysitter's Seduction, Hilary Swank naïvely walk into a web of deadly sorority hijinx spun by Zach "campus reporter" Morris in Dying to Belong and Elizabeth Berkeley fight her urge for flannel-shirted boy flesh in Student Seduction.

If only we'd caught one or both of Meredith Baxter Birney's turns as scorned housewife Betty Broderick, it would've been the perfect weekend.

Once the PM set in on Sunday and the classic early '90s movies with themes of teenage motherhood and homewrecking were about to give way to newer, more socially sensitive pieces on human trafficking and (yawn) the homeless getting into Harvard, Monte nudged me hard in the kidney and shot me a "Mum, change it now" look.

But just as my newly-burgundied nails reached for the remote, a very familiar and very fabulous voice filled the room.

I'd recognize that spirited, sssss-heavy enunciation anywhere -- it belonged to none other than "Queer Eye's" resident style savant, Carson Kressley.

In one 79-second clip from the premiere of his new Lifetime show, "How to Look Good Naked," Carson summed up why, over the past 13 months, I've dedicated pretty much every waking moment of my non-working life to the cause of helping DC women pay closer attention to the way they dress.

Add one more to the Tivo Season Pass...

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

love that show! it's sooooo good!

Anonymous said...

I think I saw part of the Student Seduction with Jessi Spano. Friday night right? "Classic" is right!

never heard of the Carson show but it looks pretty good. Will check it out.

priya said...

the show is really good. it might keep me in on friday nights! some of us don't have Tivo :(

C said...

Please to add "horrendo" to the popular lexicon. KTHANXBAI.

lila m. said...

the look on Carson's face when they show that second outfit is hysterical!

Anonymous said...

do the women really get naked? not sure i would want to see that...

K said...

I tried the first episode and was underwhelmed. Deleted the season pass, even.

Lovelovelove the old-school Keri Russell, though. If you ever want to borrow my Felicity dvds, btw (oh yes, I own all four seasons), just say the word.

Anonymous said...

Loving "Look Good Naked". No surgery, diets, or crazy changes. All it takes is great underwear, properly fitted clothing, and a good blowout to look and, more importantly *feel* fabulous.

Can't wait for the mother/daughter episode coming up...thin daughter is dysmorphic because of mommy dearest. Don't screw your daughters people! Learn to love yourself now so they can be healthy. Thanks for the legs, Mom!

i think you're brilliant said...

this is bound to get me in trouble, but I watched the Danielle episode, and I don't think she's healthy at the weight she's at. She has a very pronounced apple shape, which all doctors agree is highly dangerous. To be that large and in her 20s is a health risk. Switching from a 36C to a 36E bra is a good step in the right direction but this particular woman needs more than that. She needs a few lifestyle changes as well.

you're missing the point said...

whatever, "brilliant." Danielle was not at all too fat, just not a size 4 like everyone else on this site. if you weren't moved by the end of this show, there's something majorly wrong with you.

Anonymous said...

I think Danielle is beautiful and hopefully is now stylish thanks to Carson's help, but she *is* overweight. That is a medical fact. She does need to eat and exercise better, and hopefully her new fabulous wardrobe will motivate her to take care of herself. I don't think everyone should be a size 4, but come on, people. "Healthy" needs to stop being a nicer way of saying "overweight." OVERWEIGHT IS NOT HEALTHY!

size 12 and trimming down said...

Amen to anon 11:16! My new years resolution is to drop 25 pounds not because I want to squeeze into a size 6 again but because at my age (25), I know being 25 pounds overweight will only snowball if I don't do something about it. Danielle is surely gorgeous but I hope she and the other women featured on this show don't take this as validation that it's perfectly fine to be a size 16 with 43 inch hips.

georgia said...

I think you are all missing the point. Danielle is a CANCER SURVIVOR. Her radiation therapy warped her thyroid and she legitimately has a thyroid condition that caused her to gain FIFTY pounds. Her body has betrayed her in so many ways and stolen her mid-twenties from her. She is a courageous young woman who deserves to feel sexy and confident because she beat the beast. If you can't appreciate that, then you are the sicko.

georgia said...

PS - Anon 11:16

Overweight is not healthy...but neither is cancer.

laura m. said...

Marlo had cancer, not Danielle.

loved this show but mainly 'cause I've missed Carson!

etcetera said...

i miss queer eye.

Anonymous said...

Loooove Meredith Baxter as scorned wife Betty Broderick. Loved it so much .... I bought the DVD(s).

Anonymous said...

Lifetime movie marathons were the best back in college - hungover hallmates piled into dorm rooms for hour after hour. I have a vivid memory of jubilant high-fives and enthusastic fist-pumps when we discovered that the 3rd or 4th movie of the day was none other than "Co-Ed Call Girl" starring Tori Spelling. Pizza was ordered pronto - we simply couldn't miss a minute. The Hilary Swank one was a fave too. Sounds like a dream weekend with Monte.

brown bride to be said...

old school Lifetime movies are every girl's naughty indulgence. I can't tear myself away from the TV when I see one of these before-they-were-famous movies! The Kirsten one was particularly enjoyable (did you notice her mother was played by Harry's secretary from "Empty Nest"??)

olivia said...

I forced my bf to watch the Jessi Spano movie with me on Friday night! He got payback yesterday with football...

kate.d. said...

i once found myself describing the climactic ending of a lifetime movie to my boyfriend thusly:

"and then! mark paul gosselaar! had lara flynn boyle in a headlock!"

this was on a crowded El train during morning rush hour. and complete with dramatic hand gesture re-enactment.

LMN, you make me do strange things...

kate.d. said...

and also - outside of the whole debate about whether "overweight" (which is a nebulous category to being with) can equal healthy or not, the fact that carson is helping women figure out what looks good *on them* is great, and if it gives them increased confidence in life, i'm all for it.

1blueshi1 said...

hehe, my DH likes the AIDS ones that have Positive in the title; he once WHINED at me when I changed the channel to Law & Order: SVU! However, to see Mark Paul Gosselar I MAY have to start watching....

I've heard positive reviews of this show from Allie at whatsmywardrobetoday.com, but now that I've seen the clip it's definitely time to add it to my Tivo menu. And thanks for those GORgeous dresses--I'm still drooling over that black ruffled Lanvin.

Must go make my curvaceous self fabulous for work.

Lisa said...

I recently went for my "bra makeover" (like the one Lyla goes through in the show) and was surprised to discover I was a 34DD...unbelievable! I look better in my clothes now...no question about it. I went to that french lingerie store downtown dc, coup de foudre. They were very helpful! You should try it too!