10 September 2007

Gettin' booty

I love, love, love the idea of wearing boots with everything these days, and the ones I covet are usually from Anthropologie, where there are incredible shoes but at incredibly expensive prices, especially considering they only appear to be available online (i.e., you can't try them on before you buy). I specifically love these "legwarmer boots" -- what do you suggest I do?

Ah, the perennial boot question...

After two dozen PowerPoint presentations, two days of in-my-head conference room style scouting and more midday snickerdoodle indulgences than I care to remember, the final night of my Virginia Beach stay found me perched on a bar stool flush up against the babyfaced Beirut players that supersaturated the sports bar to which I'd paid homage not only that night but the night before, and if I remember correctly - which, considering how well acquainted Ms. Artois and I were during the trip, isn't a given - at some point the night before that as well.

More than a little venue-inappropriate in my black super-skinnies, gunmetal knotted satin peep toes and like-hued pouf-sleeved silk-blend tunic (sue me, it was either that or my threadbare "Little Miss Chatterbox" tee and sweat-soaked running shorts), I sat there wondering exactly when it was getting-older-and-clearly-having-issues-with-that-fact statements like, "Fine, so she's got a hot ass but I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a career -- how hot is that?" began coming out of my mouth, I decided it was time to shotgun my last pint, take a climb down from my high horse and chat up A, one of my favorite good ol' boys from Houston with whom I only had the pleasure to converse in-person once, maybe twice a year.

"I love makin' the trip up to DC. It's such a great town," A said, tipping back his take-home souvenir football-shaped beer stein and shaking his head 'no' he didn't want the last slice of deep-dish to our dance-pants and sports-bra bedecked waitress, Crystal-Ann.

"It really is," I replied, "I love it there. I'm surprised you like it, though, you seem like such a...well, you know, like such a Texan."

"Oh, I am, but it's those boots y'all wear, Johanna...I love you ladies up there walkin' 'round in your knee-high leather boots. Makes every trip worth it."

As A and I continued our sexy boot conversation, I considered but ultimately decided against describing to him the sensual experience I'd had two weekends prior at the Saks shoe salon with hands-on employees Richard and Marcus, these chest-grabbingly gorgeous Prada zip-ups and my Angelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith fantasy. There's just something about the smell of that new leather, the tease of the patch of skin between the tippy-top of the boot and the start of the skirt's hem, and the Pretty Woman-esque motion of propping your heel up on the lip of an open drawer and slowly, erotically - even if your only audience is your reflection in a full-length mirror - drawing to a close the view of your leg behind a tight encasement of black leather.

In a word, meeeow.

Based on my own experiences and the high volume of boot-related questions I've received from readers and girlfriends over the past few weeks, I think it's safe to say the women of DC love to wear their knee-high leather boots as much or more as the men of Texas love to look at us in them.

Just like with pumps, lingerie, haircuts and just about every other facet of the feminine aesthetic, I don't believe in half-assing the sexy when it comes to boots, either. My view is, depending on your mood, play the sophisticated dominatrix by rocking the severe stiletto or channel your East Village cool with the Robin-Hood-inspired flat variety. You'll find no two-inch block-heeled nonsense here, nor anything that isn't almond-toed or made of - or made to disarmingly look like - real cowhide.

Ladies whose calves are of a more generous carriage, don't forget to make a pit stop here before entering boot town. Take it from someone who's hit the point in her training where she can no longer fit her lower legs into her skinny jeans without engaging in a painful pantyhose-style shimmy -- the Spanx-cinch makes a big, big difference.

So, to all of you in pursuit of a pair of reasonably priced** cool weather knee-high boots (sorry, no pooties allowed - ever - on ASJiNE), here are my recommendations (for similarly inexpensive in-store selections, try Nordstrom, DSW, Macy's, Filene's and vintage stores, among others), conveniently bifurcated into the sky-high and ultra-flat categories you see below.

The 'objectify me' boots:

High stiletto boot ($119 at victoriassecret.com) L6576 by L’Autre Chose ($296 at zappos.com)Zulli boots by Max Studio ($260 at lorisdesignershoes.com)* Side-strap boot by C-Label ($169.99 at bluefly.com)
Lolita boot by KORS Michael Kors ($292.95 at zappos.com)*
Bridgid cuffed boot ($248 at bananarepublic.com)

The 'respect me' boots:

Madly boot by Steve Madden ($149.95 at stevemadden.com) Traca boot by Steve Madden ($169.95 at stevemadden.com)*
Sunny tall cuff boot by Frye ($298 at urbanoutfitters.com)
Leather flat boot by Sudini ($199.95 at nordstrom.com)
Fauxa boot by Nine West ($169 at nordstrom.com)
Bree faux suede boots by Gabriella Rocha ($79.95 at zappos.com)*

*your Editrix's top picks

**operationally defined as under-$300


brown rowergirl said...

1. I can't picture you at a sports bar (esp 3 nights in a row)

2. I can totally picture you zipping up your Prada boots while watching yourself in the mirror (and Monte proudly watching on as well)

3. It's such a relief to have you back

intern in the city said...

Max Studio boots are in my shopping cart as we speak. Just waiting for a sign to push me into buying them!

jessica said...

I never would have thought to look at VS for boots, but those are gorgeous! I'm headed over there now to see if they have black in my size. Thanks for the suggestion!

knew you as hannie said...

Don't be fooled, Hannie is well acquainted with the sports bar scene. After all, not a whole lot else to do in the metropolitan East Lansing area ;-)

I want those Kors boots BAD, and not just because they're called 'Lolita.'

Anonymous said...

Kors boot - definitely.

Anonymous said...

Since when did $299 become "reasonably priced"???

Anonymous said...

Love all the "respect me" boots, esp. the last ahhhh.

Glad you are back, the workdays were quite dismal without the fashion banter.

I am still eagerly awaiting the professional woman's back to school purses post. Is that going to make an appearance soon? (fingers crossed!)

Teresa said...

Those little leather buttons are making me swoon. Definitely going to buy flat boots in grey or red or green this year. The Schutz Petrolo suede (it's teal) is just so lustworthy. But now that first one is making me reconsider winter white.

holiday said...

Welcome back! I agree. Work was a little slow without the updates.

I am dying to find a fabulous pair of grey boots for the winter, but I am super super picky when it comes to buying boots. Either way, I sweated on the walk to work this morning, so clearly I have a few months before boots are necessary.

Men definitely love the knee-high boots in the winter time. I find the only thing that gets an equal reaction are my snakeskin Zara pumps.

denver fan said...

Just ordered the Rocha boots in brown! I hope they don't look too "faux" - will let you (and your readers) know as soon as I get them.

p.s. thank god you're back!

Anonymous said...

why the implicit bias against Jimmy Choo and Manolik Blanik? Do ordinary women honestly need an ordinary heel? Bring back the feminity that is Kate Moss!!

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