28 June 2007

White linen: good in theory, R-rated in practice

Note to all women with darker skin tones who brave the world of below-the-belt white linen -- buy a slip.

As the Sweetness and I came around the corner of ConnAve/K yesterday evening around 7:30, we noticed a pretty young thing in a pretty young Summer outfit. Petite, fit and tan, the sunglasses-bedecked Georgetown University student - believe me, once you've spent time on campus, you just know - complemented the humidity with a very weather appropriate ensemble of a coral-colored cap-sleeved boatneck tissue tee, metallic ballet flats, a worn caramel satchel over her left wrist, a crisp, well-fitted-at-the-ass, white linen skirt, and oh yeah, royal blue bikini briefs so visible even I, without glasses, could clearly identify where the cotton material met its silken piping.

You never know with a girl like this; this was, in my immediate opinion, an intentional act, an act of calculated entrapment meant to invite a confrontation in which she could justifiably accuse a man caught at the latter end of the implicit five-second am-I-really-seeing-what-I'm-seeing? stare-at-a-stranger window of being a pervert.

You know, like we all do with our university-emblazoned booty shorts?

Why am I so convinced this wasn't a typical DC fashion miscue?

If there's one thing I learned in my days up on College Hill and then again behind the gates of Georgetown, it's that girls with Tod's handbags and subtle diamond jewelery know every inch of their appearance before they leave their luxury apartments. Front, left-side, right-side, and most assuredly, back-side.

And to her credit, the plan worked. For the first time in recent memory, Monte's patrician good looks and self-important gait weren't the center of attention.


brown rowergirl said...

hahahahah! we were surrounded by her kind, weren't we? didn't you love how the super rich were always super smart, super stylish *and* super attractive?

God totally exists and he's got a great sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

Boy do I agree with this! I have been searching for a cute white pair of pants all season, but I can't find any that don't show undecent amounts of skin underneath them!!!!

dara said...

with a white skirt or dress a slip is easy enough, but what about shorts and pants?

K said...

Befriend a nude seamless thong!

Anonymous said...

1- any script written on the ass is beyond tacky. no matter what the script says, be it abercrombie, pink, or the name of your university, what it really says is, "LOOK AT MY ASS!!!" it's just too obvious and too tacky.
2- i lost my long slip, so i went to the lingerie department in lord and taylor to replace it. i didn't see any slips so i asked the saleswoman where they were and she told me they didn't have them anymore. i don't think women wear them anymore, but many women should. it not only prevents a garment from being see through, it also helps it hang better. perhaps so few people wear slips because so few people wear hosiery/tights and that is what usually catches on the fabric of a skirt.

Anonymous said...

brown rowergirl, i think depeche mode stated it best in their song "sick sense of humor" (not entirely sure that's the name of it) but i agree with you wholeheartedly

Lindsey said...

My gramma said slips aren't as common now because nice clothing always comes lined. But Urban Outfitters has cute vintage-y slips!