11 May 2007

Quote of the day: Camerion Diaz

"If a woman who's a successful actress weighs 300 pounds and has warts, nobody ever asks her, 'Do you think you made it because you're ugly?' so why should there be a prejudice against someone who's had some success in films and looks a little better than average? It's all in my genes, so don't hold it against me."

(Cameron Diaz in an interview with Jeanne Wolf on movies.com)

Um, I'm not sure what "better than average" means in Cameron Diaz's world, but in mine, it doesn't look like this and it doesn't try to win pity points with a half-baked, fat-people-(with-warts)-have-it-so-easy argument.

And let's not forget, self-declared pretty girl, that your biggest paychecks and box-office revenues have come through two films where audiences had a reprieve from your on-screen "presence" by only having to endure your whine against a green-screen, not your toothy pumpkin mug chortling at your own unfunny, poorly-delivered comedic lines (i.e. the entirety of The Sweetest Thing). Coincidence? Yeah, not so much.

I could sit here today and write an epic poem the length of Faerie Queen, an academic essay as well-evidenced and persuasive as a Tom Christensen piece and a short story as taut and punishing as a Dorothy-Parker-penned Harper's contribution all devoted to the topic of why this beast should be shuttled off without her ProActiv to a remote, humid location surrounded by real mirrors, not the funhouse variety she's clearly been using up to this point.

But it's Friday, it's sunny and I can't allow Hollywood's most unfortunate-looking blond and her retard logic to suck the joy out of my good hair day and post-work-plans anticipation.

For the record, my definition of "better than average" is somewhere between Claire Danes and Sandra Bullock.


intern in the city said...

she needs to fall off a cliff. not a high enough cliff where she'd die or anything, but maybe a large hill that would do enough damage to shut her up for a while.

probably would make her prettier, too.

Anonymous said...

"the sweetest thing" was the worst movie of all time. even Christina Applegate couldn't save that bomb.