From my poolside tote to yours

Only. Three. More. Days.

The months between February and May are always the most difficult for me. All pumpkin-flavored baked goods are on seasonal hiatus, I'm without new episodes of "Maui Fever," "Laguna Beach" and "My Super Sweet 16," all the good holidays - aside from my birthday - are at least 10 months away, and most reaching-for-the-Ben-&-Jerry's of all, I'm at my absolute whitest. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have been thisclose to the point where I could rationalize wearing my new red bikini and a double coat of Ban de Soleil Orange Gelée underneath my work clothes for a good two weeks now.

I'm ready to park my fantastic ass on a chaise with a boppy iMix, a waterbottle full of donated Veuve, another waterbottle full of water to preempt a Veuve-induced headache, an extremely well-written, intellectually untaxing, not even remotely about China novel (this'll do) and earn some minimally-tan-lined, even-the-back-of-my-neck-and-the-outer-edges-of-my-ladybits-get-their-fair-share, keep-me-from-needing-foundation-all-summer-long hardcore sunkissed color.

I know it's completely unfashionable for me to admit I still like to spend my weekends engaging in such behavior, but after the past 12 months, I'm pretty sure this is a step in the right direction when it comes to you-really-shouldn't-be-doing-that activities.

So, to help get all you other sun worshippers started off on the right foot, here are the bounty of tips and goodies I keep close during an-all day appointment at the pool:

1. SPF 15 yourself neck to toes before you put your suit on and 20-30 minutes before you arrive at your sunning destination; SPF 30 your face and hands according to the same rule.

2. Create for yourself an at-least-20-track, well-transitioned iMix of upbeat new and old music. I heavily advise against any Dido, Keane or anything else of that same morose British ilk. The pool is for happy faces, not sad ones. Here's my gem for this weekend:

Don't Matter (Akon)

Southside (Moby ft. Gwen Stefani)

Wherever, Whenever (Shakira)

Love Today (Mika)

We Belong (Pat Benetar)

Only in my Dreams (Debbie Gibson)

That's All (Genesis)

I Get Weak (Belinda Carlisle)

I'm like a Bird (Nelly Furtado)

August (Rilo Kiley)

Here's to the Night (Eve 6)

Take Me Out (Franz Ferdinand)

Hella Good (No Doubt)

Clark Gable (Postal Service)

Chocolate (Snow Patrol)

Paint it Black (Rolling Stones)

In the Summertime (Mungo Jerry)

She's a Fool (Leslie Gore)

Drift Away (Dobie Gray)

One Love (Bob Marley)

Be my Baby (The Ronettes)

Wouldn't it be Nice (Beach Boys)

3. Water and unfussy, lowfat snacks like Fig Newmans, dried fruit and unsalted, peanut-free nuts are key to remaining satisfied without becoming paunchy or sticky-fingered.

4. A couple of mindless magazines (for me, it's Us Weekly and Marie Claire), an engaging book and just because you'll feel better in the moment, also pack in that stack of articles on China's emerging hegemony in Latin America you're supposed to read for work.

5. A watch to time your XX-minute flips. My high school bff and I performed many trials ranging from 10 minute to 45 minute flips, and 26 minutes was, for our olive-toned skin, the maximum-efficiency tanning point. As Ron Burgundy says, "Science is science."

6. Extra SPF 15 and SPF 30, including protective lip balm. I reapply my sunscreen like a meth addict buys ethanol, which if you didn't catch "Frontline" last week, translates to "at least every 20 minutes." At the very least, after every flip. Head to toe, face, hands, underneath my bah'um and the various strings and straps of my bathing-suit, everywhere. I likey my sunny, but I also like my line-free face. Just because I'm half Southeast Asian doesn't mean I'm immune to Jane-Fonda-face, or at least that's what my dermamatologist tells me.

Other than reminding you to place your sandals underneath your chair and out of the sun, I think you're ready!