10 April 2007

Sometimes ugly-all-over just works

How else do I explain my bizarrely positive reaction to this photo of Keira Knightley with her looks-like-Orlando-but-isn't beau, Rupert Friend, as they stroll all lovey-dovey and Duran-Duran-like through London's Piccadilly Square yesterday afternoon?

Style Scorecard:

Black opaque tights with open-toed gold t-strap sandals -- minus one (it's that same "Hillary Clinton is a shrew" conundrum -- you just know you're right)

Holey jeans and flip-flops -- minus two (you're not in college anymore, pretty boy, grow up and buy some jeans that didn't come from the Fly Girls wardrobe and shoes that don't expose your hairy hobbit toes)

Shapeless gingham shirt dress and oversized matchy-matchy red cardigan -- minus three (how dare that selfish bitch hide her size-zero figure when there are so many desperate size-eights out there who'd give anything to see a bit of rib or jutted-out hipbone?)

Man purse -- plus one/minus one (seems wrong but I'm attracted to the confidence it takes to rock it)

Stupid straw hat -- plus one (it's only stupid because I know I couldn't pull it off)

You know, after the breakdown, I think I've come to the realization Keira and Rupert's success isn't borne out of ugly-cancels-out-ugly but rather the fact that they're both just really beautiful people. She could have full-on scabies and he could be wearing khakis and a golf shirt, and still, they'd be the most knockout couple in the crowd.

The best piece of evidence to support this conclusion - that ugly doesn't definitively cancel out ugly - is a photo of the already defunct marriage of hideousness that was Kirsten Dunst and Johnny Borrell.

Gross, I know.


jessica said...

She looks so gorgeous in that picture you don't even notice the tragic outfit.

Keira, not Kirsten.

denver fan said...

I agree with you, Jessica, Keira looks better in that picture than she has in months. Such a natural beauty.