04 April 2007

Just a reminder


Yes, it's spring.

Yes, it's warm.

Yes, you should celebrate by slipping into that nice pair of skinny-heeled peeptoes.

No, a peeptoe isn't the same as a closed-toe.

Yes, we did notice you, your stained, untended-to toenails and your well over the maximum two-days-worth of unshaven Greek-thick leg hair on the corner of 19th and M at 1 o'clock this afternoon.

Yes, it did take you, your nicely-shaped gams and your cute high-waisted Nanette Lepore skirt from a nine to a four.

DC ladies, if you care an ounce about your appearance (that means all of you, dear readers) and don't want to be the butt of a McCormick and Schmick's happy hour story by a bunch of douchebag lawyers, do yourself and the rest of us a favor -- if you want the glory of the peeptoe-and-skirt ensemble, home-pedi, shave/wax/thread, and double-moisturize yourself before leaving the house.

If for some reason you dread the process of making yourself beautiful, do what I now do to get through the headache of house-cleaning: put on some Amy Winehouse, your finest black lace separates and sing along to the lines, "I cheated myself, like I knew I would...I told you I was trouble, you know that I'm no good..." while stealing glances of yourself making sexy-faces in the mirror.

My puppy LOVES it, and considering his fastidiously discerning tastes, that's saying something.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

check out the most recent chloe trainwreck! blech - maybe Rachel Zoe could help her out a bit.

Anonymous said...

http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/04/its-curtains-for-chloe-sevigny/

Johanna said...

I so saw that this morning and just shook my head. There is no way to save that hot mess.

At least we got the humor of her wearing it while standing next to a car. She looked like one of those models who, for a living, does the "Price is Right" hand gestures. But for a lot less money. And in Milwaukee. In 1982.

dc girl said...

Eww, I don't wear a skirt or dress if I haven't shaved *that* morning. What makes women think they have the right?

bff in chicago said...

I have that same skirt -- how dare a woman filthy up such a beautiful Nanette Lepore with "Greek-thick" leg hair? Gross.

Anonymous said...

I love that even though I don't know you, I'm at a point where I can just shake my head and think "that's so *her*" when you talk about wearing your underwear and cleaning in front of your dog.

One of my favorite blogs out there, and I don't even like fashion taht much. You're terrific!

brown rowergirl said...

Skirts and stubble is just about the worst combination there is. Ugly toes and open-toed shoes are up there as well.