Gettin' my Lafayette Park on

Sunny with a high of 76.

New supremely well-organized iMix.

New supremely well-written book.

Cup of illy.

Liter of Volvic.

Packet of vanilla Power Gel, half-cup of peanut-free unsalted nuts and a large, bruise-less Gala apple.

Lafayette Park bench.

Now if only my head were nestled into Monica Bellucci's lap instead of my folded-up swing jacket and she was feeding me wild berries while reading aloud Auden and performing a warm-oil temple massage, today would be my ideal, my picture perfect Saturday afternoon.

But this comes close.

Though I fear I'll probably be too engrossed in Parker's run-for-the-hills descriptions of mundane married life in "Isn't that a Pretty Picture?" and "Too Bad" and too clenched in the croonings of Anita O'Day and Billie Holiday, I'll do my best to maintain a keen eye for any interesting, non-tourist fashion finds.

Stay tuned...or better yet, follow my lead and get your perfect-Saturday-in-the-park on, too.

You may not know me, but I'll be easy to find. Just look for a girl sporting what I like to call the "makeshift bikini": hemline of the shorts hiked from a 3.5-inch to a 1-inch inseam, transition-tee conveniently blown by that stiff breeze up to - and tucked into - the bra and cap sleeves rolled up so far that what was a scoop-neck with a high back now resembles a halter with a racerback.

And if that doesn't make me stand out (there's quite a large Eurotrash contingent in that park, so it's a very real possibility), just look for the girl who more than reading her book, squeezing out that last dollop of vanilla gel or admiring how Charlie Parker's piano solos hover brilliantly above-and-below-and-above-and-below Billie's lyrics in "You're so desirable," is clearly expending the majority of her energy situating - and re-situating - herself so as to maximize the even distribution of sun to the left, right and middle parts of her body. That'll be me, or if it's not, another worthwhile woman to whom you should take the time to introduce yourself.

Oh, and if you don't want to end up with craggy canyons carved into your face like Speaker Pelosi and Protestor Fonda, remember to apply SPF 15 to the body and 30 to the face every 26 minutes. No excuses.

Happy Saturday!