Though I pray this never happens, I fear the important someone in the fashion world whose job it is to point at trends and say, "yes," "no," and "only on Chloë Sevigny," is going to wake up one morning in the near future and realize she was wrong to have moved the dressy-short-shorts-and-heels look from the slutty pile to the sophisticated pile.
Because I know you're as fully invested in this trend as I am, I thought it was about time I provided for you a selection of dressy short shorts appropriate not so much for the office, dinner with your friend's parents or a Sunday brunch, but definitely for that Georgetown townhouse party where you know your former beau's new girlfriend (or current wife) will be in attendance.
I personally like wearing my short shorts and heels with a half-preppy, half-"awww, how cute" top like this button-up 'Little Nell' blouse with Mandarin collar, low slung side-sash and pouf cap-sleeves ($78 at anthropologie.com). And in terms of venue, I prefer to sashay this look among older crowds that still aren't privy to last spring's fashion memo that declared shorts-n-heels no longer limited to prostitutes and high-school skanks on their way to becoming prostitutes.
Older men feel like they're looking at something naughty, which in DC translates to an entire evening of "I'd love to get together for lunch sometime and pick your brain about, um...you know, China stuff" conversations.
Older women flat-out just want to kick your ass. The thing is, though, if you're bold enough to rock short shorts and they're in their predictable, full-coverage Eileen Fisher henley dress, they probably kinda sorta can't. And even if there was one who could take you out cleanly, it'd still be worth it -- you can't ever really be on top, after all, without agreeing to a title-fight.
And on that note, enjoy my favorite denim-and-khaki-free picks for this spring's best stiletto-ready dressy short shorts:
Top to bottom:
1. To the lighthouse shorts by Elevenses ($68 at anthropologie.com)
2. Pleated short by Adam + Eve ($265 at shopbop.com)
3. Loyola tweed short by Paul & Joe ($282 at shopbop.com)
4. Pleat front shorts by L.A.M.B. ($145 at shopbop.com)*
5. Shiny banded-cuff shorts ($68 at ardenb.com)
6. Silk shortalls by Twelfth Street ($252 at nordstrom.com)*
7. Polka dot shorts by Johnson ($253 at dazsign.com)
8. High waisted button shorts (£20 at topshop.com)
9. Stretch sateen shorts by James Coviello ($375 at saks.com)
10. Phoebe shorts ($19.80 at forever21.com)
11. Hammish shorts by Theory ($130 at scoopnyc.com)
12. Striped shorts by Joe’s Jeans ($152 at pinkmascara.com)
*your editrix's top picks