27 March 2007

Pass it on, ladies.

Please allow me a brief digression from fashion critique for this public service announcement. Ladies, it is of the utmost importance, so please pay attention.

Two Thursdays ago, while on a first date at the Ritz in Georgetown, a couch-ful of ladies had my waiter deliver to me a note and a second Kir Royale after my companion excused himself from the table to take not his first, not his second but his third non-emergency 10+ minute phone call in the space of an hour.

The first hour, mind you.

The note read, "He doesn't deserve you. Leave now. We speak from experience."

He didn't. I didn't. And they did.

Tonight, while enjoying the 75-degree breeze, the onion loaf and a single cut of black-and-blue filet on the Morton's downtown terrace, R and I had the displeasure of sitting next to a young couple, the male half of which spent the better part of the evening booring into his bluetooth earpiece, save for the three minutes he tried unsuccessfully to get the attention of a guy on the opposite side of ConnAve who he was convinced was a former frat brother at Tulane. After his "NATHAN! Yo, dude, NATHAN! Up here! UP HERE!" episode, it got to the point where we weren't even annoyed when he guffawed about how much "frickin' Chivas Regal" he had left over from last weekend's dinner party, we were just stunned his much more attractive, much more polite (she kept shooting everyone in their vicinity "I'm so sorry" glances) companion was still sitting in her seat, calmly nursing her glass of Cab Sauv and doing her best to look occupied with her text logs.

"I'm going to have to pass the note forward," I thought to myself, "I just have to."

And so on our way out, I gave our waiter the proper instructions and handed him a note neatly cursived with those same 10 words.

Ladies, don't put up with it. Don't let your fellow DC sisters put up with it, either. Pass it on.


Anonymous said...

This is an excellent post! Men in dc are such buffoons - why do so many women continue to put up with it?!?

etcetera said...

awesome. i love it. i will definitely pay it forward.

dc girl said...

I can't beleve that guy would act that way at Morton's of all places. That's more Adams Morgan appropriate. You know Adams Morgan, right? It's favorite place, Editrix!

I also can't believe a guy would be lucky enough to win a first date with you and then treat you like that. Boy did he lose out!

Anonymous said...

OK, first, as a man, in DC, that braying jackass was in no way representative of us. I've been here a year, and while I've seen more than a few clowns, this idiot was in a class by himself.

I had to stop her Glamness from giving him the note herself, and I sort of regret that now.

And in the unlikely event he's reading this - buddy, get your sagging ass to a gym. No one's saying you have to be a gym rat, but it's awful seeing a young man let himself go like that.


Johanna said...

My thoughts exactly, dc girl -- and anonymous and etcetera.

To be fair, I don't think this kind of behavior is limited to DC men, or even *young* men. I'm not sure if these tools were raised without having been taught to open not just the doors that are convenient for them to open but to open EVERY door and not just to stand up when a woman leaves the table at a fancy restaurant but EVERY table in EVERY establishment, or if they just decided women weren't worth the energy, but regardless, I was raised to expect it and have only been in long-term relationships with men who treat me that way.

I know I'm a broken record, but this is another category - manners - where I think settling is non-negotiable. I need a gentleman who instinctively walks on the outside and offers me his coat the second he feels a chill in the air.

I'd compromise looks before manners any day. And those who know me know that's 100% true.

bff in chicago said...

A lot of this rudeness is a generational phenomenon. Men of our generation have much bigger senses of entitlement than our fathers' generation did, and that comes across in how they treat us.

No wonder you prefer more "senior" men. I'm beginning to side with you for that reason, among others :-)

And you totally should have dropped that note off personally -- imagine the look on that jackass's face!

nyc admirer said...

"this is another category - manners - where I think settling is non-negotiable."

Said the girl who stayed with a man who left her in coach while he sat in first class because he'd "earned it."

I love you, doll, but that was not your finest moment...

Johanna said...



Anonymous said...

I agree with you about the importance of good manners in our lives, and my children are learning it too (no future buffoons here). Yet I'm puzzled...you say "I know I'm a broken record, but this is another category - manners - where I think settling is non-negotiable." But this is the woman who also says:

"Frankly, I loved middle school and still get nostalgic when I think about all the potentially life-ruining taunts my friends and I doled out to the less fortunate who crossed our already body-conscious, boy-crazy paths. Heavens no, I don't mean financially less fortunate, that would be cruel, I just mean those who were, in our opinions, lacking in the areas of physical beauty, athletic prowess and academic achievement. You know, the small stuff."

Are only men required to use good manners? And then only towards certain women? I hardly think that criticizing people, and obviously relishing it, earns any etiquette points. Nor does it raise the bar for good behavior in a increasingly uncivil society.

I'll just try to read the fashion posts--which I truly enjoy and find informative. I've just had a hard time getting past that middle school post.

Johanna said...

I'm assuming you're the same older woman who's complained twice before about me not being an altruistic, looks don't matter, everyone should be friends with everyone kind of person. I apologize I don't meet your high standards. I apologize you can't recognize embellishment for the sake of a darker laugh, and I apologize for trying to strike an elitist tone in my writing style that everyone aside from you, frankly, finds funny.

The best blogs, in my opinion, are thesuperficial.com, idontlikeyouinthatway.com and wonkette.com -- they're three of the most offensively and irreverantly written blogs out there. Almost every day, I'm shocked and gasp aloud at some of their statements, but you know what, they're extraordinarily well written, wry and original. *That's* entertaining. They don't really mean 90% of what they write, because the goal is not so much to teach as it is to make people laugh. I adhere to that same notion. I hope my readers can learn from what I write, but more important to me is that they're entertained in such a way they aren't anywhere else.

Laughing at the expense of others is funny. It is. It always has been and it always will be. Most people don't feel comfortable writing/saying things to that effect, but nearly everyone indulges in reading/listening to others who do. I feel fine with both. If you don't, then fine. Good for you.

I'm not trying to be dismissive, but if you don't like my blog, then don't read it. I have two parents, I don't need another. And my other readers don't need one, either.

west coast devotee said...

Couldn't have put it better myself, Editrix.

This woman seems intent on being the "fair police," and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

Have you ever watched a Saturday Night Live skit? Have you ever seen "The Soup" on the E! channel? Have you ever seen a Wes Anderson film? Funny is funny, especially when it's offensive and picks on the ugly kid.

Like last time you got all huffy, I think this must just be a generational difference. We know she's half-kidding, but for some reason, you're taking everything at face-value. She was the popular bitch in middle school, and looking back on it, she finds it amusing -- so what? Should she flog herself and regret having a pain-free adolescence? This is all too ridiculous.

I'm going to have to find a fat person to tip over just so I can feel better...

Anonymous said...

someone needs to tell this woman to chill the f**k out and find a more age-appropriate venue for her nagging.

Get over yourself and your high horse judgment.

brian s said...

Why is it that cute girls almost always end up with jackasses like that? Is it money? I assume he had some, if as "a young couple" they're already eating out at Morton's for an ordinary dinner. Is it power? If you figure it out, editrix, let us - good guys - in on the secret.

new fan said...

It's a combination of power, money and low expectations. A lot of times, a pretty girl is so used to being treated like a queen that she's intrigued when someone dares to do the opposite.

And being intrigued is more interesting, in the short term, than just being content.

that's how I look at it.

jessica said...

I'll pay it forward, too! First chance I get, I promise!

e said...

wow--what great move, ill certainly pass the note on.

Belle said...

Oh, I'm totally in. Can't count the times I've seen some douche treating a woman like trash and wanted to say something.