In what must be the most gratuitously cruel "Who wore it better?" feature People Magazine has ever put forth, the barely female offspring of the even more questionably female Senator Clinton is up against the loveliest, most well-dressed Latin chica this side of...well, everywhere.
You might recall that I like, LOVE this cap-sleeved tea-length Oscar de la Renta shift, so you'll understand, then, why seeing a limp-haired, untoned bulldog in sheer-black hose shoehorned into its delicate taffeta is making for a depressing Friday morning.
Until a magazine decides to create a "Who endured 18 years in the presence of a creepy marriage of political convenience more remarkably unscathed?" feature, I fear Chelsea will continue to garner below 5% of any vote.
As blessed as Ms. Clinton should feel for not having inherited her mother's beer-keg ankles, my advice to her, if she wants to win something more impressive than admission to Stanford, a Rhodes scholarship or a cushy job with a boutique hedge fund, is to hit up the gym for a solid year and enter Howard Stern's annual Buttaface competition. Even if she didn't win, she'd more than likely find a few friends for life.
Just like beauty sticks with beauty, butta sticks with butta.
4 comments:
You have just brought so much joy to my Friday morning. No makeover - extreme or otherwise - is going to keep CC from looking like a horse.
Wha-ah! Chelsea is gets woofier every time I see her. Good thing she's smart.
I guess.
Buttaface champions have bangin' bodies. Chelsea's got a lot longer than a year in a gym if she wants that crown.
It doesn't even look like the same dress. There is really no competition here.
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