24 December 2007

From my four-paneled dog print to yours...

Due to the logistical drama that is in-law-to-in-law niece-sharing, Santa agreed at the last minute to swing by our abode a day early this year. Though I was initially concerned celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus on the 24th instead of the 25th might jeopardize the size of our holy windfall, my fears proved short-lived as I soon realized our arrangement allowed me an extra 24 hours to do nothing but sit on my duff, lube up with Laura Mercier 'Tarte au Citron' soufflé body creme and take photographs with my new jazzamarazz camera.

"What to shoot first...what to shoot first...," I said to myself, maundering from room to room, Monte keeping a quick clip at my heels.

"How about this?" my Father says, handing me a large, relatively thin square-shaped package.

"What is it?" I asked, curious but skeptical that whatever it was it couldn't be nearly as first-photo worthy as Monte using my niece's upper-arm chunk as his personal popsicle. "This wasn't under the tree, was it?"

"No, we wanted to give this one to you separately -- open it," my Mother instructed with an eye-twinkle, wedging herself between the two of us, "you're gonna die, just die."

Now I know only a handful of you have ever met my Mother, but trust me when I tell you this woman put the first and second 'p' in "proper," so when she breaks out the slang on Christmas morning - violent slang, no less - you know something truly fantastic is about to drop.

But even my highest expectations couldn't have prepared me for this...


Here's hoping for four-paneled dog prints underneath every one of your real and artificial trees tomorrow morning!


have a very Merry Christmas,

Johanna

19 comments:

Oh...dear me said...

Joanna I hope you are having a bliss, love the pic of Monte, how did you do that?

bff in chicago said...

this is why I love you, J. you're the most stylish girl I know and you're the crazy lady who loves her dog like a child.

don't ever change.

love,
me

Maxie said...

this is super adorable! Merry Christmas!

Maxie said...

i meant *that*

Anonymous said...

the camera quality looks amazing!

and I'm glad to see that your "proper" parents enable your Monte obsession. it really does soften your image ;)

tellin' it like it is said...

that's not a mural.

Johanna said...

tellin' it like it is-

Awww, you even read me on Christmas Eve? I'm touched, really *really* touched.

correction noted and made.

kiss,
J

Candid Cool said...

!!!!!

Christmas in Hawaii said...

That is THE best present ever. Seriously. Do you know where your parents had it done?? (Assuming it was something they had "done" & your Mom didn't have Monte pose at Thanksgiving & whip it up herself.)

Anonymous said...

http://www.shopbop.com/shop/product_detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524441806807&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302076332&fm=sale-category-shopbysize&ASSORTMENT%3C%3East_id=1408474395181057

Like your sugar daddy dress but cheaper.

Anonymous said...

http://tiny.cc/OTze9

Maybe that won't get cut off...

okemos pal said...

wow. I'm shaking my head in disbelief that you've gotten your parents as crazy for him as you are!

merry christmas, darling girl!

Dave said...

I am jealous. They don't make those for Cody.

Alexandra said...

That is a wonderful gift!

Johanna said...

Dave-

they *could* make one for Cody -- it's customized! a local artist drew his likeness from a photo and then digitally multiplied it.

magic, isn't it?

best,
J

dara said...

love it.

merry xmas, Johanna!

knew you as hannie, too said...

what does Monte think of it?

even if he's half as picky as his Mommy is with her pictures, he has to be pleased with the results.

have a great holiday :)

C said...

Dakota, having recently learned to use the internet and having recently arrived at your blog, is, to say the least, miffed. Apparently squeaky balls and jumbo biscuit boxes are soChristmas 2006. Merry Christmas to you and yours and tralalalala and all that jazz!

Anonymous said...

That is amazing!!!!!!!!!! Worth every exclamation point and all. Wow, I love it. And so want one for my cat.