31 October 2007

There's no strapless in baseball, er, boardroom

Sadie Hawkins Dance? Lah-dee-dah fourth of July rooftop cookout? Cocktail waitress taking a break?

Dream sequence? High-budget porn? Film still from an MSNBC "Dark Heart/Iron Hand" documentary?
Oh no. None of the above. This was the ensemble of choice of The Hills' L.A.-based Whitney Port to deliver the most important professional presentation of her young, well-dressed life. In Manhattan. In September. In the AM.
For this woman.

I gasped out loud every time Whitney, her halter bikini tan lines and Milly 'Filcoupe' dress sashayed on-screen. I gasped when she matter-of-factly told LC as they waited in the Teen Vogue lobby, "I would never wear this to work in L.A. - but this is Manhattan, it's different here." I gasped when, in the middle of her presentation, when Whitney explained - er, tried to explain - where the flower arrangements would be placed in the venue, she inserted both thumbs into her sweetheart bodice and shimmied her cleavage back into place. I gasped when she bent over at the waist to pick up a piece of posterboard and we the viewers, not to mention the entire Teen Vogue senior staff, got to see just how mini her mini actually was. I gasped when, upon Whitney's return to L.A., her relentlessly condescending boss, Ms. Lisa Love, met her with a half-smile, tilted head and a very icily delivered, "So...I heard your dress made quite an impression."

And finally, I let out a last gasp when Whitney nodded, shot a lip-bite and curious look at an equally confused LC, and said, "Oh, did it?"

In the spirit of maintaining equilibrium - a concept I absolutely believe in - for every flower-emblazoned ruched strapless party dress worn to a morning business meeting, there scientifically has to be an outfit of khaki capris, a denim jacket and oxford pooties* having drinks at an upscale hotel bar.

Both, in my opinion, are equally offensive, but I just wish we, the women of DC, didn't always have to be the latter.

*actual outfit sighted last night at Palette in the Madison Hotel
(all photos courtesy of the Vh1 blog)

24 comments:

manhattan_darling said...

I couldn't believe it either when I saw that. What was she thinking??? I'm surprised Amy A. didn't casually offer her a jacket. I was so embarrassed for her!

Maxie said...

I thought Lauren looked totally fabulous in her dress, though.

samantha said...

wow - what an offensive ensemble! Someone remind me again how she got, and keeps that job?

N said...

I am so glad your brought this up. If anything Manhattan, where black clothes are ubiquitous, would be more conservative than LA.

js said...

I also love Laren's dress, but thought it might be a tad too tight. I am pretty sure I could easily make out her body slimmer lines under it... Maybe one size up for her with some tailoring would have been best.

Johanna said...

I also loved LC's dress but agree with js that it was a shade too tight on her. Maybe if she'd worn Spanx...

bff in chicago said...

I just vomited in my mouth when I read "capris, denim jacket and pooties". Is it *that* bad in DC? Please tell me that was a tourist from my part of the country.

brown bride to be said...

LC's dress was definitely too tight. Whitney looked beautiful but more appropriate for a school dance than a meeting. My jaw hit the floor when she said she wouldn't wear that in L.A. I was like, but you'll wear it in NYC???

holiday said...

I think it's really an LA thing. My friend used to go to work in her Juicy Couture sweatsuits and complain about why no one took her seriously at work. Just because you paid $160 for a terry cloth sweatsuit does not give you the right to wear it everywhere. Sorry.

I know DC is stuffy, but at least we know how to dress appropriately.

Dave said...

Not being a "Hills" viewer I'm trying to catch up here. I think I understand what Whitney was thinking. In LA you can wear jeans, sneakers, and sandals to work in most industries. I've never seen anyone in a sweatsuit outside of a movie set.

New York is dressier. No way I could get away from wearing slacks, shoes, and a button down shirt there. Whitney thinks she's being dressier.

If she worked for me and dressed like that I'd either ask her to stay in my office while I oogled her or send her home to change.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree about Whitney's dress and I loved Lauren's - I found a link to where you can find Lauren's dress and a Steve Madden knockoff - http://fabsugar.com/630551

Also, I totally thought of Johanna when Lauren declined the offer to switch her heels for some more comfortable shoes at Marc Jacobs. :)

stuck in l.a. said...

I live in L.A., and I know the difference between dressing for a presentation and dressing for a party. There is definitely more lenience out here than in places like NY or DC, but come on, she should've known better. And if she didn't, why didn't LC say something as they were leaving the hotel together??? Be a better friend!

dara said...

I had the same thought as anonymous 2:48 when LC declined to take her heels off! Her black round toed pumps even *looked* like something our Jo would wear!

erin said...

that had to be staged. there's just NO WAY...

jessica said...

It's not even a cute dress for a party, is it? She's got such a great figure, why waste it on such an 80s prom dress?

Laura said...

Meanwhile, Lauren did not STAND UP to meet Marc Jacobs, in his own studios.

I'm thinking it's an age/entitlement issue, both Lauren's lack of respect and Whitney's lack of propriety.

Johanna said...

Laura, I've never wanted to reach through the screen and hug someone more than I do right now. You are so spot-on with your observations.

Anonymous said...

Lauren is the type to not get excited about anything. EVEN meeting Marc Jacobs, her supposed idol. I am rooting for the girl, but she needs a slight 'tude adjustment.

freckledk said...

Lauren has got to be a stoner. Maybe she and Justin Bobby have something in common after all...

Anonymous said...

I agree, this had to be a staged scene. No woman would wear strapless to a meeting, morning or otherwise, NY or otherwise.

panda head said...

i TOTALLY agreed about the "not-standing-up-to-meet-marc" thing BUT today i was reading the comments at fashionista.com (where they had captioned a photo of whitney with something along the lines of "it's 'wear your prom dress to work day'") and someone pointed out that there was probably a 100% chance that they had already met and were just "meeting" again so the cameras could get it. the whole show really has gotten soooo SCRIPTED, but mostly i just want to believe it so that i can go on loving lauren just as much as i did before.
and she looked great in her roland mouret!

Anonymous said...

Great post!

Anonymous said...

Not that LC couldn't afford Mouret, but I think her dress was by Black Halo.

sarahsouth said...

i think amy-the-editor looks like a platinum blonde nelly furtado, but not in a good way.