17 October 2007

T-2 weeks, ladies


I pretty much retired the practice of dressing up for Halloween when I moved to Washington three and a half years ago.

It's not that I don't like the holiday or that I take issue with temporarily assuming another identity - usually a sexy one, as many, many articles like to remind us this time of year with a wagging finger and disapproving look - on the contrary, my abstention has more to do with the fact that five out of every seven years, I'm expected to wake up the following morning, fresh-skinned and tight-tummied, ready to face an office full of superiors whose Halloween festivities ended before mine began and were pretty much limited to driving a Subaru full of sticky, hyperactive children from subdivision to subdivision in Gaithersburg or Great Falls.

Put simply, just like I don't enjoy being the "I have a long run tomorrow, that's why I'm drinking a Diet A&W" drag at a happy hour, I also don't really care to be the sole bleary-eyed single girl whose office people walk by on November 1st and think aloud, "Is that (sniff sniff), is that beer I smell at three in the afternoon?".

But beyond craving my beauty sleep and not wanting to fan the flames of any office rumors involving my name and at this point, anything else remotely negative (don't ask), there is also the all-important issue of honing in on just the right costume.

And more than that, the right execution of just the right costume.

In my experience, two weeks is about as close as you should come to committing to a Halloween party without a concrete idea of what it is you want to be and a thorough brainstorming of how this idea will make the jump from a kick-ass abstract to a legitimate, feasible costume. Any fewer than 14 days and you run the very real risk of dressing up as (head hanging in shame) a sexy Army recruiter a month and a half after 9/11.

Costumes, ladies -- pick one today.

And come on, K, you just have to be Scary Spice. Monte's been looking forward to rocking a track suit, high-and-tight ponytail and gold bicuspid for two months now, and even I'm willing to come out on a weekday to make this happen. Pretty pretty please with a T-Bags maxi on top?

15 comments:

K said...

'Cenzo is having a 'Ween party... but it's going to be the night before the MCM.

T-bags does have some lovely maxis out right now...

TXN in DC said...

Oh please help come up with some ideas on this topic! My boyfriend's company is having a Halloween party - which rules out any idea that could include the works 'naughty' or 'sexy' in front of them (police officer, nurse, teacher...). HELP PLEASE!

TXN in DC said...

* whoops - I meant words, not works...

freckledk said...

I'm planning on going as a Glamour Don't, and would be grateful for any ideas as to what I absolutely must include in my costume. I'm sure that I have quite a few "Don'ts" already lurking in my closet.

k is more Baby Spice than she is Scary, resemblance-wise.

Teek said...

Ha, I was Posh Spice in 1997. Which would, kind of oddly, be the only Spice Girl costume that wouldn't be totally dated in its current incarnation.

etcetera said...

i'm going out on a limb this year and retiring my old full-body cow costume with rubber udders (was perfect for all collegiate events) and going with my kick-ass Butterstick/Tai Shan/Baby Panda costume instead. you'll be jealous. trust me.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure about this dressing up like celebrities for Halloween thing. By virtue, as I understand it, solely of having a British accent and black hair, I'm being encouraged to dress up as Amy Winehouse. I'm just not sure a heroin addict with a meth addict's teeth and a serious penchant for bad relationships is how I want to portray myself...

georgia said...

txn in dc - How about being something people have to think a little about? I went as a Freudian slip one year: wear a full slip (or two, or a dress to make appropriate), add glasses and a cigar. Or, an unhappy camper: tan shorts, vintage camp t-shirt (bonus for Camp Crystal Lake), sticks in hair, burnt marshmellows in a bag, dirty booty.

The best was done by my friend: She was a "Don't Block the Box" road sign. But, please don't position it in the crotchal region for a work function.

Other good ideas: the Karate Kid shower, the shower scene from Psycho, Karaoke machine (use your iPod so people can choose from lyrics and sing with iPod).

Happy Halloween!

georgia said...

TXN in DC: I forgot to mention that you could do a really REALLY scary costume and go as an AGGIE!!!

YIKES!!!

Hook 'em!

nyc admirer said...

You cannot be Posh. You just can't. Don't do that to your beautiful self! How about Dorothy Parker? You'd look adorable in that little hat she always wore.

TXN in DC said...

Georgia: I'm pretty sure I would be disowned by all my friends and family if I went as an Aggie! I like the idea of something very "DC" - like the Block the Box sign. Any other DC suggestions?? I've been feeling particularly uncreative this week!

C said...

Hey, that's enough of the Aggie bashing!
Whoop!

georgia said...

TXn in DC - I'm always a fan of making fun of things or twisting them. A friend of mine who was in law school carried around a fake law degree, wrapped herself in some saran wrap, attached some (I think) fake meat to herself and was "still just a piece of meat."

When it comes to work party appropriate though, I'd say go easy...I saw an epi of The Office last night where with three round black dots on a white shirt the guy was suddenly three-hole punch Joe...or whatever the guy's name is.

mollygee said...

txn in dc, it all depends on how much trouble and expense you want to go to. Four years ago, I bit the bullet and ordered a reasonably authentic looking Victorian ball gown ensemble that makes me look terrific (if I do say so myself, trust me, this get-up would make any woman look terrific). It came in the mail in two days (expedited). It cost $350 for everything, but between Halloween, Mardi Gras, and masquerade occasions, I've already worn it about seven times (varied a great deal with different accessories) and I've never worn a bridesmaid dress more than once.

bow seat said...

I still have my boys aged 5-7 army shorts from my favorite Halloween ever. Wonder what ever happened to those canteens...