26 September 2007

I'm pretty sure the boss doesn't want to see your jacked-up heels

I know not every professional woman in this city shares my view on the notion that a serious job is no excuse for turning a blind eye - or in many cases, a pair of blind eyes - to how one looks as they bridge the divide between home and office.

I realize for some of you, whether it's out of necessity or preference or whatever, clothes are just...well, clothes. Nothing more. And certainly nothing over which you find yourself fretting, fawning or foregoing meals on a daily basis.

But in the spirit of a post I wrote a few months back in which I questioned one young woman's decision to introduce the belly shirt to a Sunday morning church service, I would like to here and now raise the issue of another peculiar - and in my opinion, equally offensive - lapse in think-of-how-it-affects-others judgment.

And that would be the jacked-up, cracked-up, haven't-seen-a-bottle-of-Jergens-since-the-Clinton-administration heels stuffed into a pair of besequinsed too-small, peep-toed, kitten-heeled slides.

There are few female body parts that when taken care of properly have the ability to distract (at least temporarily) from a busted mug, a bulging belly, jumbly thighs or a shiteous haircut. Gorgeous, fresh skin does the job, a taut pop of ass definitely goes a long way, and the last feature on this shortlist, the feature that can really boost a 5 to a 6.5 and the reason why so many of us spend more time and money at the salon than we should or can afford is a pretty, well cared-for pair of feet.

But as I saw yesterday evening at the intersection of 17th and L, the power that on one hand can upgrade a woman's hotness factor has the power to down-down-downgrade it as well.

You wouldn't expose your colleagues to a rash on your inner thigh, you wouldn't share with the world an infected, ingrown nail, you wouldn't find it appropriate to wear a top that highlighted a giant whitehead on your back, so why, why are so many women - not just the aforementioned one, but throngs and throngs of callous and fissure-flaunting females in my pocket of the city - under the misconception that their so-dry-they-look-diseased feet have the right to see the light of day in an office setting?

To all the women who favor the slide, I implore you, either lotion 'em up, or keep 'em well encased in a non-slingbacked pump, boot, sneaker, hell even one of those stupid-looking pootie things.

Because from now on, I'd like to keep down my $5.49 Infinite Orange smoothie, thank you.


Lady Tiara said...

i read this post and immediately glanced down at my feet. thankfully, they're properly moisturized. what i don't get is that this woman went to the trouble of painting her toenails, but doesn't bother to do anything else to her feet. it's such a half-assed approach.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Although I don't think any part of the foot beyond what shows in a peep toe or a slingback should be exposed to an office setting. But still, even for casual wear, if I'm too busy with depo or trial prep at work to pumice my feet and lotion in the morning, I wear ballet flats, not sandals.

Anonymous said...

I think I almost vommed in my mouth when I saw that fissure photo. OMG. How do people live like that???

Anonymous said...

Agreed. If one can't afford a pedi (and I often can't), then buy a drugstore foot scrub, some lotion, and go to town.

m said...

who doesn't love a drunk post?
a) Monte is a precious gem
b) The Waldorf looks swank but is really just a shabby old hotel
c) Barron's top 100 financial advisors awards ceremony means lots of silver foxes ripe for the picking in Sir Harry's
d) I never thought'd I admit it but I kind of miss DC.
e) these gross heels have almost *almost* ruined my buzz

Candid Cool said...

that smoothie sounds good

Johanna said...


I love drunk posts! Haven't done it myself in a long while (maybe there was one back in Feb/March with an Amy Winehouse theme?), but it put a smile on both Monte's and my face to read yours.

You and your Waldorf Astoria...(jealous face)

have fun and think often of my munchkinpants!


AY said...

OMG, that fissure photo almost made me vom at work. aaaah. You need a warning for those kind of links! But I totally agree about the feet. Girls, invest in regular pedicures, they're a must.

Tom H said...

Jo totally disgusting.......but what I want to know is how did you get such a close up shot?????