17 August 2007

10 Most Wanted (shoe edition)

If I had one wish and one wish only, clearly, I would be expected to put it toward something selfless, something that would benefit the majority and make this world in which you and I live a more beautiful, less hostile place.

In short, I'd criminalize the wearing of the following footwear during business hours, Monday through Friday:

10. Wrap-Up-the-Leg Espadrille Wedges
9. Crocs
8. The Kitten Heel Slide7. The Mallwalker
6. The "I Put Out" Flip-flop5. The Slow-Dance Strappy Evening Shoe
4. The Stripper Slingback
3. The Block-Heeled One-Inch Pump
2. The Stacked-Heel Square-toed Pilgrim Bootie
1. The Sturdy Comfort Sandal:

29 comments:

Kiki said...

Amen.

Maxie said...

Haha-- love it. I am guilty of owning the stripper sling back, though. If it makes you feel better I've never worn it to work, lol.

dara said...

I'm surprised you only limited the criminalization to "business hours, Monday through Friday". Most of that shit so fug it should be outright banned. Especially numeros 10, 9, 2 and 1.

Anonymous said...

I'm guilty of owning something like the stripper slingback, but not in red, and not with the fug wood veneer heel. Does that make it any better (she asks hopefully)? I also would never wear them to work!

Johanna said...

Maxie/Anonymous-

I try not to interfere in people's fashion choices outside of business hours...the stripper slingback, as long as it's not in the workplace, is not an egregious offense. Just make sure you get a pair that doesn't look *too* pleathery :-)

ataraxia said...

i'm suprised not to see birkstocks on here - sorry, i must admit that on casual friday's in the fall that's all i wear with jeans, like it or not :)

Anonymous said...

Bravo. Half the women around here would go bare-footed if your rules were enforced.

rdhd

Teresa said...

I gotta say the kitten heeled slide is the *least* egregious of these for work. A little frump, but at least that's the shoe of a working mom making some kind of effort. Maybe I'm being swayed because it's a nice leather. This does make the assumption they're worn with a classic wide-leg trouser or similar that properly covers the ankle, not with tapered 80s pants or *shudder* skirts and nude hose.

Anon 10:02: Birks totally fall under "comfort sandal".

m said...

every single one of these makes me cringe...

K said...

I may be wearing the stripper slingback today, maybe possibly. OMG. They are Kors, and vanilla patent, and much more a sandal, but, ah, yeah. Time to go change shoes.

Or not. I still prefer them to the kitten heel!

Anonymous said...

Not that I didn't think you had the inclination to do this on your own, but this post was totally egged on by the Brit, wasn't it? You two are a scarily stylish duo.

throwing out my Tevas now...

Brooke said...

I am happy that I am only guilty of one offense. Just seeing pictures of these shoes on your blog is so weird. Thank you for sparing the flip-flop, otherwise I would be guilty of two offenses!

Samantha said...

Atleast this is one post everyone can agree with :)

Anonymous said...

hiccup laughing.

Kim-E said...

What's wrong with the 1-inch heel shoes? I call them the fundamentals as they are the shoes of demure christian women everywhere.

LOL!

Seriously, I arrive to work in cute shoes (I drive) and then change into slides as I'm running around all day. They are cute (to me) but definitely would make it to this list.

My bad.

Anonymous said...

Now how about a post with the top ten shoes that women should be required to wear?

holiday said...

I remember being pretty offended by those clear see-through tennis shoes that have holes for you to sweat through. Thank god they went out of style, as well as the miserable Chanel and Tory Burch ballet flat reincarnations this summer.

capitulatenow said...

Saaaaaay, Robin Givhan seems to be channeling you in her column today.

Anonymous said...

I think DC could only hope that Robin could channel some of our editrix's sensibilities -- both in writing style and style itself. I can't even skim her pieces anymore.

Kate said...

Agreed on all of those. I especially don't get Crocs, they look like gardening shoes. Maybe on little kids, but still.

Johanna said...

I'm so gratified to hear we can all agree on (most of) these awful, awful shoes.

I will work diligently to get you an ASJiNE-endorsed "top 10" by the end of the day.

Ain't got no date or nothin' so...(wah wah wah -- get it, "Debbie Downer" from SNL?)

the budies said...

hahha i whole heartedly agree!

Anonymous said...

Guilty of owning:
Crocs
The Kitten Heel Slide
The Block-Heeled One-Inch Pump
The Sturdy Comfort Sandal

I've only ever worn the Kitten Heel Slide and the Block-Heeled One-Inch Pump to work, however.

What, pray tell, are those of us with feet ruined from years of running supposed to wear?

knew you as hannie said...

I agree with Brooke, it's so weird to see comfort sandals and pilgrim booties on your site.

Clicking "refresh" every 10 minutes (okay, 10 seconds) in anticipation of your second list!

Brooke said...

Like anonymous 2:51 said, some of us have feet problems. What do those of us with massive foot surgery in our pasts do? (wah wah wah)

Johanna said...

To those with foot problems, I really have no good answer. I'm sure there are inserts or arch-supports you could purchase, but frankly, flat or high, most shoes will cause you problems. I don't know about you, but with my very high arches, ballet flats are wicked painful! I'm much better off in a high heel than flats.

But truth be told, to use his phrase, the most comfy shoes I own are my beloved Brooks running shoes (http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/22716712/c/87175.html)

Candid Cool said...

I cracked up at the I put out flip flop!!!! So true-ish.

And I despise crocs in public, except on those under 5, adorable on litte kids.

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