20 April 2007

It happens every year

I feel guilty for complaining about anything on a day like today.

At 8:40am, it was already so gloriously sunny and had already reached that perfect just-humid-enough brand of pleasant that I actually peeled off my khaki trench and went v-neck/v-back sleeveless brown sundress and 4.25-inch nude leather peeptoes only from 15th and M all the way to work.

For me, something as small as being able to present to the world my full ensemble without the distraction or detraction of even a slim, stylish coat on my five block walk is enough to put an all day smile on my soon-to-be sunkissed, freckled-nosed face.

There was, however, one problem. One big problem. A problem that plagues me every single year on that first truly spring Spring day. There's no technical term for what I'm about to describe, at least not one of which I'm aware, so I am henceforth calling the strut-crippling slippity-slide that occurs when too-well-moisturized feet meet DC humidity meet tall skinny-heeled pumps the "I knew I shouldn't have used silky coconut salve everywhere this morning" dilemma.

When faced with this situation, not only are your heels, toes and arch more susceptible to blisters, but even more devastating is that you have no choice - I've tried, you have no choice - but to convert your usual uh-huh-they're-high-and-I-don't-even-notice saunter to a precarious, look-down-more-than-up, left-right-left-right shuffle to try and avoid the very real possibility of an ankle break.

My advice, as counterintuitive as it feels for me to say and shocking I'm sure for you to hear, is to skip your feet during the morning moisturizing routine during the Spring and Summer months. Tend to them at night, twice if you're obsessive like I am, but lay off in the AM. And if you're someone who tends to sweat a lot, I'd even recommend investing in some sweet-smelling talc or powder to soak up any additional moisture to further increase your chances of remaining injury-free.

A broken ankle, while it might serve you well as a conversation starter with that good looking gentleman who just offered to carry your daybag, won't do you any favors when it comes to reaching your most important summer goal of getting in fierce shape for your poolside uniform of a Lisa Curran halter bikini and Jill Stuart Astrid sandals. To the contrary, all you'll be left with come August is a whole lot of muscle degeneration, tone depletion and a lawn of Greek-thick hair on your calf.


M said...

what I love the most is that the poolside uniform consists of wearing heels. :)

Johanna said...

Doesn't your poolside uniform include heels?

Just kidding (sort of). But seriously, if I owned those particualr Jil Stuart sandals, I'd be wearing 'em poolside, dogwalking (to Doggie Style, of course :-), streetwalking, pretty much *everywhere*.

london girl said...

I can't bear to look at that pic of Nicole. It's so horrific! You can almost hear the tiny "snap" that's about to happen.

denver fan said...

I know exactly what you're talking about! You have to take baby steps so as not to fall. You look like a kid in your mother's heels - so embarrassing!