28 March 2007

Holy f**king leggings!


Yesterday, while watching a Frontline documentary on the unknown whereabouts and identity of that brave (ahem, dead) soul who stood defiantly in front of the tank queue mowing over demonstrators in Tiananmen Square in early June 1989, I learned something I probably should have known about the country to which I have devoted in one way or another the last nine years of my life.

In true fuzzy-soft communist fashion - with efficiency and practicality not only at the forefront but at the only front - the Chinese government has created cities in the far less prosperous central and western parts of the country whose livelihoods over the last 25 years have been entirely dependent on a single commodity. Footage was shown of Anhui province's bedding city, its toilet city, toothbrush city, sock city, and even though they didn't show it, after my visit to Georgetown's campus today, there isn't a doubt in my mind a leggings city exists and that it was the number one Spring Break destination for all Hoya female co-eds.

Leggings, dress, cropped jacket, heels - 'check'

Leggings, tee, miniskirt, Grecian-style sandals - 'check'

Leggings, Georgetown Final-Four long-sleeve, sneakers - 'check'

Leggings, tunic, bright flats, cigarette - 'check ad infinitum'

In the space of 20 minutes, I must have seen five or six dozen female students rocking one of the three lengths - knee, calf and ankle - of what are essentially, foot-less pantyhose. I'm not one to knock a leggings look, because in all honesty, when done right, I think they can be quite fetching, but I will say Georgetown proved to me even more today the dearth of originality when it comes to their style scene.

What perplexed me most as I forcibly cut through the sea of Us Weekly's "favorite trend of '06" with my vampy heels, Dior lip shine and disapproving attitude was just how many body types I saw stuffed into those skin tight things. Now, I'm not saying you need a wisp of a Sienna Miller frame to pull this off, but you know what, it kinda helps. And not just for you, the wearer, but for the rest of us who can't help but stare car-accident-style at the very visible jumbly-jibs your untoned thighs create when encased like sausages in the largest pair of light blue Primps you could find.

While I may not get the leggings craze or understand the thought process behind a size 14 thinking tights-as-pants is a good idea, one issue on which there was no confusion was where Georgetown girls are shopping these days. After I saw my third Milly eyelet mini with wide patent-leather belt, I knew every last girl on that campus had already taken Daddy's AmEx for a ride at Cusp.

Ah, Georgetown University. The 10 month hiatus was long but not long enough.

2 comments:

Jacob Da Jew said...

"but for the rest of us who can't help but stare car-accident-style at the very visible jumbly-jibs your untoned thighs create when encased like sausages in the largest pair of light blue Primps you could find."

Eww. I hate it when fat people try to squeeze into lycra or tight clothing.

Jelly-Rolls, anyone?

Anonymous said...

The worst leggings I ever saw...
I'm in college, and there was girl in my class who was wearing grey leggings, northface jacket, ugg boots, Soooo typical (this isn't the bad part yet). I'm walking out of the classroom behind her and her assline is just all sweaty. so disgusting.