Twice a year the Dulles expo opens its doors to hundreds of vendors and thousands of patrons who love nothing more than gettin' their guns-n-ammo on at the Nation's Gun Show in pure, unadulterated red state style.
And tomorrow, I will join their ranks. Again.
Assuming I don't get a cross-bow in the thigh or .22 in the ass for throwing one too many "you're not really wearing that, are you?" stares, expect a full fashion rundown tomorrow afternoon.
I'm still undecided whether to go with...
outfit #1: orange Britney "Dream Within a Dream Tour" tee, denim cutoffs (with exposed pockets a-la Miss Spears) and a pair of cowgirl boots straight from Tener's, my childhood home away from home
outfit #2: purple Britney "Onyx Hotel Tour" muscle tee (self-cut sleeves), Army Special Forces tapered sweatpants and laceless high-tops
Whichever I go with, to be true to the trailer hick I like to pretend I was growing up in the OK - like the OC but poorer, fatter and more polite - I'll be sure to paint my face with frosted pastels, pin my hair back with a couple of plastic Hello Kitty barrettes and ignore entirely the concept of verb conjugation.