31 January 2007

Poor execution (pt. I)

I've only very recently begun to feel comfortable with the brown-black color combination.

And even now, five months in, I still only allow myself small risks like carrying a black daybag with brown leather ballet flats, or wearing garnet studs with a black wrap dress. I see other women - L, for example, is a master-ess at this concept - and they look fabulous with their brown opaque tights and black Mary Janes, but for me, I just can't; the feeling I get when I mix large pieces like a blouse, skirt, overcoat or trousers using two very strong base colors like brown and black is one of real, unshakable discomfort.

Today, at a Cross Straits security panel discussion at a very conservative Capitol Hill think-tank, I experienced another kind of discomfort -- the kind where I see a poor girl trying hard to emulate the Mandy-Moore-at-Sundance look and coming about as close as "Derailed" did for launching Jennifer Aniston's career as a taken-seriously dramatic actress.

Standing flush up against the wall, she was wearing a very cute high v-necked black dress that had a full waist-to-hem pleated tea-length skirt. Atop that was an ivory rollneck cardigan, the kind I often refer to as a "grading sweater," because it reminds me of the style my father always wears when he sits down to hundreds of exams each semester.

Ivory cardigan, black dress, so far, everything looked really nice. Then I got to her shoes.

She definitely earned a point for wearing three-plus-inchers, but I deducted it when I noticed the overly severe witch-point, and once I put on my glasses to see in more detail their color, I deducted seven more for her choice of pairing sheer black hose with brown faux snakeskin. I know this is going to be a controversial post, because some women live and die by the brown-black marriage, but I have my limits, I have my opinions, and I have my rules about how it should be executed.

For the record, I thought Mandy Moore looked like a home-schooler in this getup, and by that I mean untainted by the cruel, cruel tauntings of uppity bitches who haven't yet learned it's not right to judge a person based on their size or style.

More after work...

1 comment:

Jen said...

I too shudder at the brown-black combo. I hate it the most when I see a black belt with brown shoes or vice versa. Ugh!