02 January 2007

Her lanyard gave her away

It is never okay to look like this from the waist down on a work day.

Let me qualify that. Unless you work at a trendy hair salon, you're a model on a photo shoot, or a 50 year old painted Asian woman with a this-is-how-it's-gonna-be attitude, it is never okay to look like this from the waist down on a work day.

How do I know this quite attractive young woman purchasing a medium coffee and raspberry cream cheese croissant at the ABP on 19th and L didn't fall into any of the aforementioned categories? The lanyard around her neck gave her away. She was an office girl.

The more subtle components of her outfit - her gray cashmere cap-sleeve sweater, her Marc Jacobs shoes, her Me & Ro skull earrings - all indicate she thought she knew what she was doing, but even Alvarez at the register knew he was justified in throwing her a WTF stare. In all fairness, if any or all of these items had been paired with skinny black trousers or a wool pencil skirt and wide patent leather belt, we wouldn't be here. If her sweater had been a tunic, her leggings had been opaque (did I mention they were sheer black?), and she didn't have an ID badge around her neck, same deal.

Half aerobics instructor, half NYU art student, this US Weekly trend-page devotee was 100% wrong for downtown DC.

This woman was a fashion victim of the worst kind, having committed all of the following offenses:

(1) wearing too many trends in one outfit

(2) dressing in an inappropriate, unprofessional manner

(3) wearing open-toed shoes with chipped toe polish (a trollop shade of red, too)

(4) applying evening eye makeup too early in the day

Expect recommendations for her fashion overhaul sometime after 5:30.

1 comment:

kumi said...

This is hilarious!